we've only just begun.

FEARFULLY BRAVE.

2011-10-24T06:51:00.000-07:00

It has been quite some time my friends!

God has been doing a lot in my life lately. In my bible study, we are studying this book called Radical by David Platt. It's been really awesome because it is constantly pointing me back to scripture to read and study, while at the same time being challenged to take my faith back from the American dream, and to once again, become a barbarian for Christ. To be honest, I couldn't believe how much I conformed my faith to be something that true barbarians would question if I actually even understood what I was believing. This week I was challenged to go through my shoes and clothes and to sell it. I mean, I live in total excess when it comes to shoes. I need to give to the poor more often, and I need to be constantly giving. I'm not. I just have been living contently. Ugh, it's just such a battle, daily! I just want to encourage you all to grab a copy of this book and to really devour it. Let Christ use it to speak to you!!

Anyways, I wasn't going to write to be an advertisement for the book! Besides God asking me to listen to the call on my life and wait, to give to the needy, to become more bold and uncomfortable, but he's also called me to be brave. And let me tell you, I have a lot of issues with that. Lately I have been having some minor "heart" problems. I don't know if anything is threatening or really if anything is hurting me (I see a heart doctor in a few weeks), but it's been making me worried. Not only that, but at night, I have been waking up choking and gasping for air, feeling like someone's watching me all the time, crying a lot (which is really odd for a Lincoln), and just really struggling in trusting Christ.

This week I really focused on memorizing a verse from Psalm. And I have accomplished that so FROM MEMORY i will recite it for you (:
Psalm 121: 3, 4, and 7 "He will not allow your foot to be moved. He who keeps you will not slumber. Behold, he who keeps Israel will neither sleep nor slumber. He will preserve you from evil. He will preserve your soul."

So I think that to myself at night and pray that I can continue to grow in my identity in Christ, but I'm human and I get caught up in flipping out at night from fear. Last night was the worst. I woke up several times from choking, and I woke up a few other times from crying! Straight up bawling from my sleep! It was awful. I slept with my light on because I was so scared, and at one point just cried out to God to let me sleep. Around 4:53 AM, after I finished crying, I laid there and didn't know what to do. And out of His great Love, he answered me. He called to my heart...and I know it was my Father!!! I can remember a few years ago laying on my trampoline and preparing to go to Mexico and just spending time alone and in silence with God. That was the only other time I really heard God speak to me outside of scripture. But this time was just really meaningful. I heard him say, simply, yet eloquently and firmly,

"Taylor, I Am. Right. Here. I Do Not Give A Spirit Of Fear. I. Am. Right. Here."

Freaking crap yeah!!!! It was kinda scary and I still took like 3409857 hours to fall back asleep, but He was there.

A tender and sweet reminder.
Thank you Jesus.

AN AWKWARD APOLOGY.

2011-08-18T11:40:00.001-07:00

Friends shouldn't....
want to kiss or touch or daydream about what it would be like, at least that’s what we told ourselves while secretly doing exactly that. It took moving away from each other and a dream to finally admit it. It was great, except for the states in between us and no way to change that. After years of hiding our attraction for each other a few states shouldn’t be enough to stand in our way, right?

The first months, spent staying up all night texting or IMing, telling each other everything and acting like a couple of teenagers. Between the “I really like you”’s and the “why didn’t we do this sooner”’s we were both afraid (I think we still are) of what was happening because the distance can be disastrous. Our futures unsure but knowing that they were meant to be one. Longing to be with you and see the goofy grin you said I give you. All the sweet things you would tell me, making me feel special and cared for and all these things that I don’t remember feeling before. Realizing that I was more of afraid of you not knowing I love you than I was of taking the risk to tell you. More than 8 months now and I think that a combination of being so far apart and having witnessed our past relationships and the mistakes made in them makes us want to be perfect for the other so we sometimes hide possibly upsetting tidbits. It’s wrong. Friends first, (almost) lovers second. If we can’t be honest with each other how can we make this work?

It’s not always going to be perfect, perfection is overrated anyway. I can promise though that it will always be loving and sincere. There will be roadblocks and disagreements but those are used to strengthen what we have by communicating not break it down by yelling and giving up. I love you completely, honestly, unconditionally. I don’t want us to end, we haven’t even been given a fair start. If we make each other this happy being so far away just think about what it will be like when we can look into each others eyes, say “I love you” and see the smile on your face instead of only hearing it in your voice.

Patience isn’t easy when you want something so bad but if we hold on we’ll have our happily ever after. It’s waiting for us to dance in the rain.

COFFEE BREAK.

2011-08-09T20:17:00.000-07:00

happy tuesday night!!

i just returned home from Bible study, where my pastor talked a lot about hebrews 12:1-3; we're all going on a camping trip this weekend and we're going to dive deeper into that passage...i'm really excited for the trip. sometimes i don't feel very close with the group and that i'm trying too hard for them to like me...i'm not really focused on the reason i'm there.

anyways, things are really starting to change for me...

i thought i was really going to enjoy this summer with classes and work, and starting to get caught up and maybe actually be a junior by my third year of college...but nope. not yet...i took philosophy and i'm just finishing up with my spanish literature class...and it kicked my butt. ugh...and on top of that, work has been so stressful...i work at express in the mall (grooooooss, i hate the mall haha) and it's just been overwhelming after a 4 hour lecture in spanish, then having to go to work and be super-duper nice to shoppers that i don't want to help out. but it's been kind of refreshing too, because i'm actually connecting with a lot of great people there. and it's been a blessing to my relationship with Christ too, because i'm really able to LIVE OUT my faith....like on a completely different level than i really ever have. being surronded by a community of followers is always amazing, but i'm not really at work. so it's been a great blessing to show Christ to my co-workers. on top of that, i'm moving home next week. AHHHHHHHHHHHH. like insanity. after i moved out in 2008, i didn't think i would really ever move back into that house. and i'm really stressed about it, because i feel like i'm going back to a place that reminds me of...not good things. i'm just stressing...BUT MY DADDY'S HOME!! i'm sooooooo happy about that (: (: (: yayyy...my little brother is going to college, which is the weirdest thing to me cause he's too young, and shouldn't even be driving still. haha (: it's just so weird that my brothers are all going to be so far away from me this year...ugh! annnnd, mike just told me AMAZING news this week...he's going to Grace College in the fall!! (: !!!
i'm so excited for him it's insanity! (: he's going to grow so much and just fall deeper in love with Christ, and i just can't wait to see where God takes him this next year (: (: ooooo yes (: i'm happy!

well, i just mainly wanted to get out all that i'm feeling right now, cause i'm stressed....and i need to start my homework for class tomorrow haha (: it's going to be a lonnnnnnnng friggen night. (:

blessed are you, from our Father.

ELECTRIC ETIQUETTE FOR HER TIME LIMITS.

2011-07-05T07:22:00.000-07:00

I found her skin in a box of New York post cards
and left one for my mom. A skin, I mean. One that

loses its leaves like the branches from the weeping widow
outside my house. Weeping willow, I mean. Her skin

warped itself into a snail and I watched it crawl up my
mom's back. I watched her cold heart microwave itself

back to the orange and blue it once bled. The color
saturation was exceptional. My mom's skin slowly followed

the snail's path to the back bathroom, where mother kept her
nail clippers. Those were the only item stored in her mirror.

Each leaf of skin that unraveled off my mother's chest, she clipped
away and sewed it to the snail. I watched the snail take form

once again to the bodies of the twin girls that died last summer
because their mother forgot to tell them to look both ways

before crossing the street. It was a world of zombie like
loved ones that shed different leaves from different trees that had

different rope swings. I was lighthearted as I swung on the tire swing of
my father's branches. He never lost a leaf in my eyes.

My mother's branches fell off and killed those twin girls, once again.
I never could remember the name of those snails.

"Warhol must protect himself from his desire for the daughter." It was like
the way colors were painted on a canvas. The way his snail ate a mother's skin.

HE KNITS THE OCEANS.

2011-07-05T06:58:00.000-07:00

Alive fully, the machines sneeze relief as I tire the cord.
It's the fourth day of the week, and I can already feel his astigmatism reel my wheels.
Tuesday's are the only days that I allow my sleepy eye to fully close.

I'm crying in the back room again and I can feel my eyelashes bleed
the defects of a consumed world affected by its consumers.
I see like rhinos in the desert--

only eleven feet ahead of me at a time. But all the kicked up dirt
fills my lungs and I wonder if I can get off early. I'm tired of copying and pasting together
a collage of another's work that I can call my own.

So breathe deeply, and I sing his Hallelujah chorus around the Bend
where the dove behind my ear pleasures me with facts that I'm running too fast and my past
is quickly catching up. Forgive me, father, for I have placed you in the back seat

where my jars of pride have been polishing themselves with dust.
The driftwood becomes more physical in his hands, but somehow less tangible.
Oh, the chemistry of it all.

The time spent from one place to the next is just a construction built from my
mind. It folds and degrades the weightless world
into the open mouths of the ants caught in the serpent's web of knitted venom.

But I keep those little guys in my pockets, hoping my broken egg shells
my stifle their hunger until the sixth seal is broken. He prays for you
every night and kisses my brow and brushes his bed and goes to hair.

My anchor, I'm drowning. The Bible and his science. Joshua surely did a job
building the battle of Jericho. The judging evidence of ignorance sat outside
of Jerusalem for two thousand years, and I am just now noticing the white horse.

I found a letter addressed to my picture. I was told my peacemaking therapy was canceled
due to a conflict. Believability was the lanyard tied to my ankles.
I believe all of us will receive this letter someday.

In a while, I came to myself and saw that I was standing in line.
Books for Jews and letters and your Demons were on my back. Too close to call, I cried for
blood and sold my soul. The first letter of my name is a cross.

At the trumpets call I went to bed and brushed my teeth and gave you head
because of the letters you had read,
I finally understood the red you said.

P.S.

2011-07-02T07:38:00.001-07:00

i'm going to go lay out first, then i'll come post my poems. haha

MONTHS TO GIVE.

2011-07-02T07:31:00.000-07:00

hello friends!! oh, i know it's been so long since I've gotten on here and posted about anything lately...so i thought i'd share what's going on n stuff...
so this summer has been pretty fantastic so far. i just finished with my philosophy class and let me tell you, if you can avoid a thinking and reasoning class...do it. my class was insane!! just full of diagramming people's thoughts and taking people's arguments and seeing if they were valid, invalid, sound, weak, strong, cogent...bla bla bla...i left every class thinking, "oh yeah i understand this stuff..." then come back the next class and after 10 minutes of lecture i would think "what the h is this guy talking about?" HAHA...oh man, but i'm looking forward to Spanish lit...not really at all actually. a lit class in Spanish? this is gonna be rough...
well anyways, the main reason why i'm posting is because i have some poems i'm going to put up. thanks for dealing with the poetic side of me lately...it's been fun and a good way to relax for me..plus they were homework assignments and i had to do them...(:

good afternoon, good evening, and good night.
p.s. my best friend is coming to visit me today...

A WOODS BEFRIENDED NOBODY

2011-03-28T11:52:00.001-07:00

God’s son is forever written on my back
and together we rode my wagon
back to where the poison fogged like fire.

I saw my back bent over like I knew
the woods were preparing their branches and bristles
to wipe and whip the skinned fossil.

Ma’am never gave me the right size of gloves
and they fell off quite often. See where they lie?
Right under a rest.

That’s right God, she was the death
of me. I see that in my poverty she found
a weakening whimper of wisdom.

I watch the men reach into my pockets
and pull out several gloves. It’s dark and
I can barely understand their understood smirks.

The moon lit up my face and I tell Jesus
that my wagon is not suitable. You catered
Elijah with a chariot. Please do it twice. Three times.

He says I died for the sleepwalkers.
I am Jesus. My lungs spat a miracle and I watched
my back break, and showed them what it meant to believe.

MY MARILYN (PASTE UP)

2011-03-28T11:50:00.001-07:00

This is the one we all fix our bodies in such a way to capture our best sides and favorite demons. Clearly, all attempts have failed. Is there a science to it? Let’s play God, because science never proved anything. Give the sky new wallpaper and let’s take her with us. Left there will be a suit; a covering Eve started after days of life. In Marilyn’s faith, she worshiped Dean and Malboro. Clever kitty, God removes your claws. Good luck killing your demons, but remember, I will never tempt you with more than you can handle.

EVERYTHING MUST BREAK.

2011-03-02T07:21:00.001-08:00

he whispers in hopes to end her Running
and the rooftops in Colorado begin to break
just like his relationship with her.
and her wrist at Pepper’s first unveiling.

the devil’s lettuce put her pain to sleep—
but not the ghosts in his eyes.
his eyes the color
she couldn’t find in her box of crayons.

she would eat that crayon now.

our open mouths and open eyes at graduation
smolder the notions of love and war.
i’ll let my mind win
the war with my heart once more.
you’re timeless.
i’m foolish and in love with time.

my smoke break on your front porch
brought Guadalupe to the tip of your tongue.
i had no permission to drink his blood…
you said it was desecrating.

let me show you
a believable fist.

like lovers crossing the border line
i lay on the edge of your exhausted bed.
you never asked me to pay up.
just go down.
i was choked up from all your demands.

with all her forbidden mistakes and the Good destruction
she reigned her heart and left the porch.
with a new back and a new name she’ll make the show,
and he goes outside and wears Scarlet for the last time.

i devoured her crayon.

ELM STREET.

2011-03-02T07:20:00.003-08:00

I’m just going to say it. I had a good idea for this poem.
Relating hammers and wolves and socks to virginity.
But then I got into a car accident,
And the aroma of blood praises the air.
Kind of like pickle juice spilt on a love seat.
Then a smart-alec poem about some lying virgin in San Fransisco—
discharging her coke onto somebody else’s car paint—
didn’t seem too screwy anymore.
Creepy poems are good poems, he says.
If they’re disturbing and dark, feel accomplished.
But I thought of the colors green and orange
And those seem really lit up.
Kind of like my aunt. She was always lit.
The night her blood peppered the air,
Nightmare on Elm Street glowed silently.
Her sister gave me her purity ring. Silly Aunt Sue,
I don’t think I’m the one that needs a “don’t-be-a-slut” reminder.
But our accidents trample me into this therapeutic nightmare.
And I feel like I’m back at my first thought about virgins.
Kind of like that song…there ain’t no rest for the wicked…

BLACK ICE.

2011-03-02T07:20:00.001-08:00

Sleeping instead of grieving.
It always starts with a nodding hope.
Colors perceiving expectation and wonder
flash vigorously on the mind’s billboard.
Dreaming the vibrant nightmare over and
over.
Did you see her face?!
Black. Black. Black.
Under a rest.
The fight begins between us and the colors.
Here with her,
under these oceanic comforters.
Drowning until she sees that
nod.

Time for morning.
Mourning never has time for breakfast.

DEFINING WORK

2011-03-02T07:19:00.001-08:00

Take this job and shove it into your summer ghost. The past three years, I have been sleeping on stones. Now my crooked back is ready for a fresh harmony to straighten the lies. I remember when I started singing this song. I performed on unusual stages the different translations of one book. One book, that in reality, all bled the same death. It seemed that only in the dawn of summer mornings, that my boss would give me new notes. At the first sight of light, I ate the repeating measures. Instant coffee, tortillas, and maple syrup. He always picked at my composing. You have predestined this opus. On my way to your mansion, I realized all those wasted days. Those days that our libretto became the echo shaking my back straight. He was constant in His desires to change my harmonic routine. So I slept past our morning practice and enjoyed the stones. God, let me get this off my chest! Hey, I’m onto you. They say you have a way with words. Well tell me who is whispering to me all through the night? I can feel your workers murmuring from the beginning of my dreams to the encore of my music box. How will this ever be worth anything? I need a new song to sing. Ask and you shall receive. Blue birds always sing the notes that I’m too scared to sing. But no one wants to sing along. Sing with me—this is how we ask for it. There’s still progress to be made.

TERMINATING RHYTHM

2011-03-02T07:18:00.001-08:00

In anticipations of her arm hairs standing,
she begins to see the arch of the camel’s back.
It was as if He shoved His thumb into that mountain.
For nine months she ate that climb—
a mile. Every morning.
Five thousand
two hundred
80 steps into the heavens where Lucifer
spat his hot breath onto her skin.
Like a mint, splinters ran through her blood.
Warming her insides until they became
leather.
The spit lit fire to her skin and
her hairs now blond as ash
sat down
in that arch..
She remembers thinking one morning—
with a dirty bag under her arm
and one on her head…
God, another three months?
She burned more than calories.

A RETURNING COUGH

2011-03-02T07:17:00.002-08:00

For seventeen years, her breath filled this house…
And now,
I’m able to throw away her ash trays.

Incense could never do the job.

She had a habit of hovering,
however—
With menthol cough drops,
and an initialed flask.
M.D.
Murdered Demons?

She says the flavor is cherry.
And by flavor, I mean syrup;
And by cherry, I mean blood.

RUSHED ROOM

2011-03-02T07:17:00.000-08:00

The mother was never able to connect with her
because the father was given her first
after the cord was no longer used
as a choke chain.
She had curly brown hair
and cheeks of rose petals.
She was webbed to her father
and only cried when lightning struck the tree
and branches began to crack the sky.
When the lights were waged
she continued to stare into it,
as if it would save her.
For twenty years later she would learn
the light for the sun
and the Son for lightning.

LET'S TRY AIMING

2011-03-02T07:12:00.001-08:00

You gave me that butterfly feeling
each time you looked at me;
not just fluttering, but those monarchs
were eating me from the inside out.
We sat on the park bench
on Michigan street, smoking the lasts.
Next to the mirror, the size of a lima bean,
we looked like prostitutes—
sweaty beggars of squares.
There were children, half naked,
playing in the water of a skyscraper
painted with different faces.
The air was stale and sticky,
this isn’t Mexico.
You took my hands after the bird
dumped off his deposit
and we walked across the street
to the next available love affair.
We were told to wait for Neptune,
but Jesus, Mary, and Joseph,
the advisor was bald and had mistaken my identity
for a ship-less bottle.
You threw him overboard on Addison.

EXHIBITION FILM

2011-03-02T06:56:00.001-08:00

The old woman sits in the same chair
rocking back and forth,
like God himself is using that rocker
as a clock to time the seconds
until she inhales the flies
of stale mints and mandarin oranges one last time.
The wrinkles on her knees continue
to fold like the snow drifts
outside her window that seem to be burying
the bodies of her religion and spite.
She takes off her glasses
and breaks off the ends of her silver dreads
like icicles and places them
in the bird bath, with a film of ice stretched across
and the arson smoke of meth burning beneath,
giving the birds a head start on the move in.
A memorable day that comes once a year
to her lonely coffee table of a stage
and listens to the blue birds call to her to sing along.
A stage worthy for her audience of one
who continues to time her race,
and greets her with a conscious sigh
as she turns to build her own nest to live.

A POEM ABOUT LOVE.

2011-02-21T12:12:00.000-08:00

"Sculpt My Energy"

Long and motionless promises are on wheels.
between ages,
we cried sepia photos--
wilting and peeling
like the others involved.
hats hide the exit of a male.
is this our
hour?
i desire to get sexual
and cause a physical mop;
although
the other person
gets mono.
*
you fingered my salt water clay and showed my current dress what it means to be striped because the way the lines supported my back made me seem like the gypsy that actually is paying you for the dance in her high heels that seem to always break in the concrete cracks of the sidewalk that we painted white when we had only eight years of youth and i told you i wanted to sing but you laughed and said that i sounded like the cricket that sat on my window and i hated it because i couldn't sleep at night so i tore apart my seven dresses and sewed and stuffed them with cotton balls and made new pillows for our cardboard couch that you said you found in the dumpster outside the photography shop that is owned by the man i went to high school with that asked me to pose nude so i slapped him in the face and switched to ceramics class where my teacher's last name was Sharp like her pots and sold me her camera without any film so when we decided to take that trip to the beach i would have something to bury for somebody else's treasure hunt but before we did that you grabbed my swim suit and pulled the strings to drag me to the pits but that is where i found the salt water clay and tied my strings and told you to paint the cement black because all you are is a blackened side walk from the constant pressing of horse hooves.

DEATH BY POETRY.

2011-02-21T12:07:00.000-08:00

"Who Emerged at the End of World War 2"
i ignored the skeleton walking out of the closet.
she brought a train of bubble gum behind her
and a false gold cherubim for tasting.
interpreting the flavors was distinguishing her thoughts.
she went in and out of that closet--
bringing with her the moon and the fathers
of a generation nostalgic for broken jawbones.
that gum will be the end of you,
she said.

i popped a piece and savored those wings.

THE BRIDGE TO TERABITHIA.

2010-11-02T09:37:00.001-07:00

I love fall. I love that the trees turn from green to colors that foreshadow the holidays; spicy red, candy-corn orange, and a fiery gold. Fall also brings out the coats and colds. It is the season of change. Walking to and from class helps my loves for Robitussin and chamomile tea grow deeper and deeper. My walk at eight in the morning is the worst part of my day. Not only is the cold bringing tears to my eyes, but my brain needs to quickly adjust itself into Spanish mode. Then at 9:45, I walk home. Usually the wind has picked up now and it stings my eyes as if it were toothpaste. As I continue walking, the only thing I tell myself (whether in Spanish or English) is how warm the apartment is going to feel. My roommates and I pride ourselves on the warmth and smell of our apartment.
There is a bridge that connects campus to the students’ apartments. I call it the bridge to Terabithia. Hahahaha : D Anyways, it is really scary to walk over the river when the wind is strong. But the cold makes everything about the walk exponentially worse and seems to take longer than just seven minutes. The top of the bridge is the coldest point on campus, and that feeling never weakens once you’ve reached it.
My apartment is like spring break! It smells like Caribbean Salsa and feels like the beach. So warm!! It’s overwhelming. Usually I lay in my bed to enjoy another scent (pumpkin spice) and catch my breath and thaw out my bones. The cold makes me appreciate my toasty apartment. It’s nice to just come home and rest.
I’m starting to finally get used to being home. I always feel like it’s when I get comfortable in one place; I’m standing on that bridge to Terabithia on the coldest day of the year. But this fall is different; I am comfortable with my surroundings—it’s true—and my spirit is at rest. My soul sings for the warmth, the fragrance of God’s presence. Where I find rest. Where I find peace. Where I find joy, love, hope, healing, grace…it’s overwhelming.
Psalms 27:4
“the one thing I ask of the LORD—the thing I seek most—is to live in the house of the LORD all the days of my life. Delighting in the LORD’S perfections and meditating in his presence.”

HE HAD TO GRAB MY ATTENTION SOMEHOW, SO WHY NOT DREAM?

2010-09-10T10:20:00.000-07:00

so, mike asked me to go to start attending bible study again. I thought, sure, this will be good for me. we get there, and the leaders have made these thick booklets for study-aid. and the way the study is set up, is really interesting and exciting. we’re studying the books of jonah and ruth, and I took the time yesterday to begin the study of jonah. I read it three or four times, all in different translations. I spent time on the interent, learning more about who jonah was and where tarshish was compared to Nineveh…etc. I spent a lot of time in the word. not just reading it, but picking it apart and really diving into the connotations and denotations of the words written. I spent a lot of time reading chapter one. when jonah was running from God, got a boat towards tarshish, fell asleep, a storm came, and the sailors threw him overboard.

then I went to bed. haha.

I had a dream last night that I was on the boat while jonah was sleeping. and I was sailor. “taylor, the sailor…” so, jonah was sleeping while the storm hit the boat, right? and I was a sailor, so I was amongst the rest crying out to gods for help. I didn’t go wake up jonah…and then we threw him over board and we carried on. the only difference was that us sailors didn’t make the vow to pursue a relationship with God, like they did in the book.

and it got me thinking…in my dream, I wasn’t calling out to any specific god, but it kinda symbolized to me that I was crying out to the “things/idols” in my life that are extremely important to me.

things. not God…but things. idols. things that I place so highly in my life, that they get in the way of my relationship with God. then with us not bowing and recognizing the one true holy and should-be-ever-feared Lord, I saw something else. that yeah we were like… “hey this storm is really crazy…lets listen to this guy and pray to his God…” and then we continued doing what we were doing before the storm hit...

so I thought about all this today and the meaning of this dream I had…you know, what was God trying to say to me? I’ve been through a lot the past two years. with moving to mexico, moving to Colorado, moving home, boys, parties, family issues, blablabla…you’ve heard me complain about all this junk before…it was as if I was going through one storm after another. and I have been looking at all these events in the wrong way. I haven’t used them to better me, I’ve still turned to these things to continue bringing me down. But I’m beginning to see that those “idols” need to be reprioritized. I know that I’ve been running still. not from people this time, but literally I’ve been doing everything I can do to avoid a more intimate relationship with Christ. and yeah I have these realizations and I get excited and post them on my blog…but I continue doing what I was doing…just like I did in my dream. I didn’t even thank God for bringing me through those storms. I feel a calm coming. and I feel like God has still so much to teach me about the things I’ve been through…but I don’t want to do what I was doing before.

for instance…

there is going to be a bomb party for a friend at purdue next weekend. and mother was not pleased when I brought it up…and I was mad. like really frustrated. I wanted to go. my rebellious nature fired up again. but after reading only chapter one of jonah, it made me realize that I would still be living out a luke-warm love for my Lord. just because yeah I like to party. haha…but in this life…in this relationship I want to see move forward so badly…especially now more than ever…I can’t. I can’t continue in that. it’s not healthy in the progress I want to make.

with God, I shouldn’t feel like…I’m “trying” to be a better a person…because that’s not what it’s about this time. I genuinely would love to sacrifice these earthly desires, for his heavenly plan to progress in my life. I want to see that bloom. so badly. because I feel my Spirit…I feel his Holy Spirit speaking to me about something…it’s not happening yet, but there is something bigger to come. and it’s only beginning…but to run from that again? no. I don’t want that. I want what he wants for me now more than ever. I want to see that blossom. and I don’t want to see myself crying out to something that won’t save me. I don’t want to see myself being scared of where God will take me, and run from it. I want to run TO where he wants me to be. I want to become the woman he intended for me to be originally.

POPPED TIRES AND CHEESECAKE.

2010-08-17T12:21:00.000-07:00

hello! this past summer has been crazy. i mean, well worth it and i couldn't be happier with the decision i made to move home. i still have a lot on my "to-do-before-summer-ends" list, but recently i've been stressing so hard about my future. my daddy came home last weekend, and i had applied and been accepted to the Art Institute of Illinois to pursue a career in photography. i was a little bummed that only gen ed's would transfer from colorado and the fact that i would no longer be studying spanish. the spanish courses at pueblo definitely kicked my butt; however, i was really going to miss using the language on a daily basis. so i started praying if AI (the art school) was my best decision. then i thought about gas, and the fact i don't have a car or a steady job, i would be traveling to chicago three times a week...bla bla bla. and i thought about taking a semester off and working. or finishing all of my gen ed's at a local college. iusb. and when dad came home, we talked about it. and in a matter of minutes, we were on the phone with my advisor from AI and explaining to him that financially i would not be able to attend AI. all of a sudden, i realized i had no direction in my life. i felt that i needed to be home, and if i had decided to go to AI, i would rarely be home. but i wanted so badly to attend this art school, and who know, maybe end up living in chicago--pursuing a career there. but things just didn't add up...i had felt leery about attending AI, but i was so focused on the rush of living somewhere besides pueblo, that i completely spaced on my reasons for coming home. so i finished applying to iusb today!

my friend, emily, told me a story in mexico one time. emily and her husband, steven, were all dressed up with a lovely strawberry cheesecake in the back seat, headed towards family gathering. emily wore a beautiful red dress and steven...was dressed nicely as well :D as well as a hick could i guess (: they are the oddest couple... (; anyways, they were really excited for this, and prepared financially for gas and fixed the car...bla bla bla. they had to drive a few hours to get there. well on the way, even tho they had the gas money and oil changed...something unexpected happened.

flat tire.

they were on a high way and speeding cars...and no cell phones. so they got out of their car, pulled out the cheesecake, and together, sat on the hood of their car and enjoyed their cheesecake.

wouldn't that be an awesome picture to capture? gorgeous red dress, cowboy boots and button up, sitting on the hood of a car, eating delectable cheesecake? i can picture it in my head...and just giggle.

they didn't make it to the family gathering, but they had such a great time just sitting back and enjoying each other's company.

and i relate that story to myself. God brought me home, and dressed me in a beautiful red dress...he clothed me with my family's love and support during my hard times of getting myself balanced again. but i started rushing and foolishly planning ahead...and when i started driving on that high way of a career that didn't involve his blessing of being bi-lingual...tires started popping and shredding. until i was on the side of the road, with no phone. i just called out to him, and he joined me for cheesecake. okay, so i don't know exactly what that cheesecake tastes like exactly...cause we're still just talking on the hood of my broke down car. he's mending my heart and asking me to calm down and not rush the cheesecake process. it's a delicious pie...mmm i'm hungry now...but he wants to be able to make it so that when i do taste it...the preparation and process was perfect. so we can enjoy it together in the midst of the busy highway, called life.

AND IN THE END.

2010-06-26T12:16:00.000-07:00

holler.

ohhh, the joy of summer.
i'm finally home in indiana; the one place i can look ugly, and not give a rats tail (:
love the brothers.

they've all been so encouraging. my brothers drove out to colorado in may to pick me up. i came home, last minute decision, because my heart was in pieces. i just couldn't find the right way to handle my life, and it severely affected my heart, and who i am in christ. i began compromising everything i believed; all to make something so wrong for me, right. justin, jarron, and ryan have been the best medicine i could ask for. even tho their criticism hurts, they are really helping me realize the pain i've inflicted on myself, and my relationship with christ.

i have no room at home. no bed to sleep in. i just come home after work or a late-night, and crash on the couch. it isn't my preferred place to sleep, but i can deal. i wouldn't want to be anywhere else this summer. justin is living in my old room, sad, and i went back there the other day to collect some items i left on the shelves and in drawers.

all sixteen of my journals.

i started writing in them when i was 8, i think. and i've been reading some from mexico and different trips i've taken. the quotes i've written down from various speakers and books. i saw the way that i was falling intimately in love with christ. and my recent journal...broke my heart. i read through this past year, and the many things i wrote about that were significantly changing the person i was. i began writing about how overjoyed i was to be rooming with Nely, and the love i shared with christ and the passion i had to share that with everyone. then a sudden change came...i had stopped writing for two months, and when i came back to journal, i could see a huge change in the person i was. and the sad thing was...

i was happy being that girl.

and i had built so many statues on different mountains of people around me that i wanted to impress. i had also put myself on a trampoline...jumping up and down with my beliefs. i said one thing...and did another. i was NOT living how i wanted to.

but then i kept reading and seeing the desperate cries to God for guidance and help. i wanted something drastic to come and change my life. i wanted God to intervene. to rewrite my year...anything. i read the ridiculous requests...oh my goodness, i wanted something so bad...and i couldn't figure it out.

i realized while reading that journal that i was in such a desperate pursuit for God, in disguise. i couldn't see it then, and it's taken me eight months to see that until i am in the right place with God, all other relationships are doomed to fail. and this summer i wanted to take this time, and better myself. not go back to the girl i was in the beginning of the year, but to be better than her too.

so i went back to my early journals, when i was like 16. when i started feeling God do huge things in my life. i read through just heart breaking entries about hating high school, hating trying to be perfect for my family, the death of my grandpa, the friendships lost...i was so upset. but entry after entry, i ended with "but in the end, you are worth it all."

where did that go in my life?!

i found one saying that i had written...and i didn't know i was capable of thinking something so huge when i was sixteen. i had said...

"god, i'm not looking for crowns. i'm desperately seeking...frantic believing that the sign of your face is all i'm needing these days."

and three and half years later...i pray that back to him. that he will hear my continuous cries for his love, and fill me. and just be my all. to prove to me once again...that no matter what, in the end he is worth it all.

oh the joy of summer...

"HI, I'M TAYLOR PAIGE LINCOLN, NUMBER 20, LEFT DEFENDER."

2010-03-01T10:51:00.001-08:00

Dear Soccer Coaches of the Past...

I have had four of you. Rob, Mifo, Phlumm, and TI. You guys...this blog is dedicated to you.
Rob, you and I go wayyy back. Back to kiwanis league, when I was psychotic forward. You attempted to tame my wild side, granted all four of you did haha, and you helped me through a lot in high school. Little did you know...
Mif, you were awesome. I can still remember you asking me to try defense and who would've thought my first year in the back line, I was all-conference. You never gave up on me, and even though we didn't get to bond like I was able to with my new coaches, we did have some fun. Not to mention the suran-wrap wars and the middle of the night drives to your house to put random stuff in your drive way and attempt at t.p-ing you and jumping into your freezing pool and you chasing us down the street or you showing us your tattoo...hahaha...I guess we did have some good times!!
Phlumm..where do I even start with you? You have been more than a soccer coach in my life. You and tecia both. You pushed me to my full potential and saved me from numerous injuries on the field. You dealt with my sarcasm and dirty jokes during practice and made me run a lot. (dang earrings)..I really appreciate that I am still able to call you and have a casual conversation about Burt's random injuries and the way the team is looking and how your job is and how colorado is and how you give me good advice when I need it. You were a great coach...the best I have had and I appreciate your willingness to leave Elkhart and coach our team the last two years I had in high school. More than anything, I thank you for your constant prayers and the support and book you gave me while I was in Mexico. Thanks for keeping up on my blogs and the prayers...everything. Little did you know the motivation you gave me to be a better person on and off the field. Little did you know that the team and I looked up to you and whatever you did as inspiration. Thanks for always being a challenge on the field...for forcing me to play against Kelsey Lehman (haha) or even just being the one forward that would actually challenge me to play in practice like I would in a game. You were always helping me no matter what, even at team dinners. Thanks for all that you did and continue doing in my life and the lives of the girls on your team. Thanks for all the laughs and for putting up with my immaturity.
TECIA...i have locked in my phone a text message you sent me right after the soccer season ended and Kelcy got a higher award than I did our junior year of soccer. I can still remember meeting you--sitting in your chair you all dressed in orange, I had just arrived back from Mexico. What a day! I remember coming back and you and chief were giving me crap about not being in shape, when in reality I almost beat Phlum that day in sprints. You guys...stop that! Ha, or how about when we were sitting on the bus and Chief was on the phone and all you hear in the back ground is me "Jefe! Jefe! Jefe! Chief! Coach! Chief! Phil! Phlummel! Phulmmel! Phil!" hahaha...or that day when we went to see Notre Dame and I wore jeans and complained the whole time...or the year before when it rained and I complained the whole time. You two seriously put up with so much crap from me. Thanks so much. And that night you and phlumm and burt came over to meet reuben...and you were doing the etch-n-sketch thing hahaha...but seriously TI all the support you gave me after my car accident (even after when i was dealing with a lot and went through therapy) and my senior year when I was struggling with my family issues, you were one of my number one support people. I greatly appreciated that. You also saw me grow so much as a person, and a defensive player that year. you worked with me so much on my emotions, mentality, and skills as a soccer player. You gave me so much hope and talked so much crap about everyone with me. I can remember the smile you gave me when I came to the fields last summer before I went to school here. All the crap you gave me for stealing the shorts from the jerseys...who cares anyways you guys got killer jerseys this year haha...all the crap you gave me and burt and how you always seperated us before phlummel could make us run anymore that day. all of our random conversations off the field...when I had swine flu and called you that day I was in Texas and We talked for almost two hours about everything we could think of. Your love for payton and the upset in the superbowl this year...I cried a little for you (: I have so many amazing memories my last two years of soccer because of you and Phlumm. I greatly appreciate you two and the hearts of love you shared with the team. I hope that you guys both will be able to encourage and motivate and inspire other girls like you did to me. I love you.

Shoots and Giggles, Taylor (:

BUTTER, DENTISTS, CHARACTER, AND YOUR HEART.

2010-01-13T19:48:00.000-08:00

it's been a while.

show of hands...who enjoys laying down detailed-details of yourself with someone you do not know?...lalala...yeah, i didn't think there would be many hands. it's like going to the dentist, you know? they put us under the light, and for an hour we lay there completely defenseless while they poke, clean, and floss.
aaaaaand...let's rinse.
those dentists can tell everything about our past eating habits from our dirty mouths. and oh yeah, everyone hates the dentist. don't even lie.

i talked to my friend from home today. it was really good to talk to him. you know something i love about him? he listens. he is genuinely interested my interests. we talked a lot--i talked a lot and it was refreshing. at one point during our conversing, he asked me "tell me about yourself." honestly...how do you even start to explain on the phone who taylor paige lincoln is? even to an old friend? (:

(side note, my keyboard is so buttery from the popcorn i'm munchin on)

people are complicated. right?

at school, i have a friend named Jimmy and he is sold out on the fact that by knowing who you are as a person--you, yourself--you will have an easier time learning about someone else's true character. he is an interesting person; when a bunch of us are all hanging out, he is able to figure out each person, from the inside out, in about 10 minutes. because he is himself. and knowing himself gives him a new perspective on others. he can just listen to three facts about a person and know what their heart is like. he doesn't care what other's think about him, and he enjoys making people happy. when people give him crap, he takes it and speaks his mind right back. when he is asked a question, he gives his honest answer/opinion. he is himself; completely vulnerable to others. and he loves living like that. we can't fully experience life without risks, love, and being vulnerable. and then when i talked to my friend back home, we talked about ourselves with each other. i went back later in the day to reread his texts, as well as the ones i sent him. everything was so surface. we both mentioned the fear we have of truly opening up with someone because they will have the knowledge of our weaknesses, past, dreams, likes/dislikes...etc. it both makes us scared...and we are both chasing and looking for the same thing.

to love. and feel loved in return.

is that asking for too much? being vulnerable with someone is allowing someone to know you. to pursue after your heart. sometimes people put up walls and guard their hearts so much that allowing someone to even attempt to climb over those walls, will in the end hurt you even more. because the climb is difficult...but if you don't allow them in-and keep building the next wall even higher...they will grow weary. you have put your heart in headlock. (but there are those who feel the weariness, and know that it is worth it in the end...and those people are our true soulmates. the ones who know you're worth it.)

VULNERABILITY:: capable of or susceptible to being wounded or hurt; open to moral attack, criticism, temptation; open to assault; difficult to defend...

sounds intimidating.

but if we all embrace the beauty found in being completely raw with one another...we find that there is no where else to go. no where to run. we will be riding a train bound for truth...

IT IS ON THE TABLE.

2009-11-18T12:19:00.001-08:00

so this word, HARNESSED, has been on my mind lately. weird huh? so i googled it.
"engaged in one's usual routine of work; together as cooperating partners or equals"
hmmm...
i asked a friend to be my accountability partner this week because i've really been strugging in various areas of my life. breakups, smoking, hanging out with bad friends ;), and other stuff. :/
but she said..."no, it's your life you do what you want." hmmm...so "together as cooperating partners or equals" is absent in taylor's life.
i dont want to be engaged in my usual routine of work without someone helping and checking in on me. i gots my mommy and daddy, :D
but help. i mean, this whole spirituality thing in the REAL WORLD is wayy harder than i thought. it IS a choice to get up and listen to God in the mornings...and i always am giving excuses of "oh i was out too late..." "i'm tired." but it's always refreshing when i can sit down and open up His book of promises and love and He speaks directly in my life. what i'm dealing with then.
so harness.
where did this word come from? i mean, it's not a word i just throw out in a daily conversation. but it's one that has been thrashing around in my noggin. so what are some synonyms? ::bind, check, constrain, couple, equip, fit, govern, hitch, hold, limit, tame, tie, utilize, secure::
i feel like my harness is not being utilized or helping me be equip, or governing my life, or holding my pieces together, or securing my plans.
hmmm...did i just make a point? God be my harness this year...and for all my life. bind me, hold me, check on me, govern my life, tame my wild side, limit my intakes, fit me for eternity, constrain my heart..let me hitch onto you.

"oh my soul...you never let go."

NOT 20.

2009-11-10T20:25:00.001-08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!

the big nineteen.

CLOSER TO LOVE.

2009-10-16T10:00:00.000-07:00

good morning! today i was reading in mark 15 about Jesus' crucifiction. i got to the part where it says: "Then Jesus uttered another loud cry and breathed his last. And the curtain in the sanctuary of the Temple was torn in two, from top to bottom" (15:37-38). i couldn't help but reread those two verses over and over again. from what i understand, that veil was in the temple, hanging in front of the Most Holy Place, a place reserved by God for himself. (&& that veil was one heavy curtain!!) the room was entered only once a year by the high priest as he made a sacrifice to gain forgiveness for the sins of all people. however, when Jesus died, the curtain was torn in two...wait let me say that again...this veil that was about sixty feet tall, thirty feel wide, and four inches thick...was torn in two! this showed that his death for our sins had opened up the way for us to approach our holy God...the torn veil illustrated Jesus’ body broken for us, opening the way for us to come to God. As Jesus cried out “It is finished!” on the cross, hee was shouting that God’s redemptive plan was now complete. he died for us...torn the curtain, allowing us to be that much closer to an intimate relationship with our Heavenly Father, and giving us salvation. "For God so loved the world..." (Jn. 3:16).

and he still loves us that much...

i can't help but want to be closer to that love.

I FALL OFTEN.

2009-10-12T13:12:00.000-07:00

i realized that i have been through quite a few boxes of band aids and tubes of Neosporin since i've been here...

1.) fell out of a parked car in the parking lot. face planted and scraped most of the skin off my palm of my hand.
2.) fell down a flight of stairs. opened my hand again.
3.) fell up a flight of stairs.
4.) fell off a fountain and scraped my leg open from middle of my shin to half way up my thigh.
5.) fell off a treadmill while running.
6.) smacked my head (numerous times) on the dryer door.
7.) passed out in front of belmont and rushed to ER.
8.) acid reflux so bad that i was taken to nurse and given medicine to take during my first semester.
9.) fell out of bed (while singing!) and bruised my elbow bone.
10.) fell out of the church's door and into a picture accidentally (ha that was my favorite).
11.) fell out of james' car at sonic. face planted. scraped my chin.
12.) stapled my finger while attempting to staple a draft together.
13.) fell off the elliptical machine while trying to step off.
14.) hit in the face with a soccer ball from the guys downstairs.
15.) ran into a door, sprayed by the sprinklers, and pooped on by a bird while practicing a tour. (ha)

please contact me if you would like to help me raise money towards a helmet hah...

CRAYOLA YELLOW.

2009-10-07T19:00:00.000-07:00

hey! well what an interesting week last week! hah...so i was walking to get last thursday and i suddenly got really sick. i didn't know what was going on so i turned around and went back to try and relax a bit. but then, i couldn't control my legs and i started spinning and the next thing i knew i was staring up at the faces of football players asking if i was okay. gustavo came running outside and said things like "youre really white" "we need you to move" "taylor what have you been doing?" it was nuts! i don't remember much after that, but gustavo said i kept wanting to text nely and tell her i was leaving and stuff like that. when i got into the health office, they called the hospital and i was rushed there...only to wait 6 hours in a room. we didn't find really anything out, because i had such a bad headache and i was STARVING so i left after my sixth hour there. gustavo said that i went completely white, then i was gagging, then i went really really yellow, "crayola yellow" (and i quote!) and i was so cold, that when they stuck me with needles for blood, i wouldn't bleed. it wasn't until the sixth stab that they finally got some blood. it wasn't my diet, wasn't dehydration, wasn't blood sugar...they didn't know. but they said it could be possibly related to my liver because i was so yellow. the nurses said they were frightened because i was that yellow. wow.
but i'm all better now. i had a great weekend of rest and now i'm in ship-shape! i visited with my favorite lady (alegria) and she helped me so much with spanish. the missions conference is this weekend, and then i see my parents in two weeks as well! nely bought a bible last weekend for her birthday!! wow. then last night we talked for almost two hours about REVELATIONS. hahaa...oh man, i don't even know what that book talks about and she was asking some pretty difficult questions! hah. but we had a lot of fun and good talks. she's really growing and i'm real excited!

with love, taylor.

WEEKEND, SNOWCAPPED MOUNTAINS, AND NELY.

2009-09-28T15:22:00.000-07:00

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what a fun weekend! this weekend nely and i were able to travel back to wiley to visit reuben and his family. nely painted the basement, well a small portion of it, while reuben and i were able to talk about a plan on his basement to make it more usable for his youth.
nely is still challenging me daily in my relationship with christ by asking me such simple questions. she went to church on sunday, and she had a lot of great questions that pastor mike talked about. continue to pray for her as she continues to seek truth in her life. pray for her heart as well. she is going through such a difficult time in her life.
i am unable to go joel and ruthy's wedding this coming weekend. i thought i was going to be able to make it, but nely's birthday is this weekend and she asked me to go home with her. so i took that opportunity instead, and i am pretty excited about it. i've really been missing the ones i lived with in mexico. i miss lauris and chely and gabys and little juana and eliud and vicky...then my americans too... [: adjusting to life here was difficult, but the ministry that i have here is still blossoming. i'm so thankful for the time i had in mexico and the lessons i learned there. but i still long for the family love we had! ):
fall is coming and that means intermural soccer! wooo...and hot chocolate and snow. we don't get much snow here, but last week we had some small flurries and the mountains are capped now and it's soooo pretty! i'm so thankful for the beauty that surronds me. nely and i recently purchased a toy octupus that you can put in the water and it grows to be 4 times it's size! haha...oh man we're really excited about it!

love you and miss you all. again...

BLOG ADVERTISING.

2009-09-15T20:14:00.000-07:00

in my composition class we are supposed to write about an advertisment of choice and analyze it for our readers. i found some really fun and serious ads that i thought i would put up [:

COMPOSITION KILLLLLS.

2009-09-02T14:45:00.001-07:00

"Where I'm From"

I am from a leather bound journal,
from apple and blenheim.
I am from the trampoline by the fire pit.
(Black, springy,
a place where I spent cool summer nights with los hermanos).
I am from the gerberdaisy flower,
whose exploding, colorful petals
remind me of the colorless years that past,
and the colorful ones I have yet to embrace.

I am from catch-phrase and spider veins,
from Tom and Andy.
I am from big-mouths and coffee lovers,
from "water in or water out!" and "I'm all done!"
I am from Well Done Good and Faithful Servant
with ten different translations
and a love for the field.

I am from Lincolnshire,
from sunday afternoon chili and folgers classic roast.
I am from Ruth's game winning shot
to Quinn's intellectual, seven year old mind.

On shelves full of colors,
I open the books to see the familiar and unfamiliar.
I am from the smiles and flowering,
from the related and journeys taken.
I am from those blank pages,
anticipating the colors and petals

YOU HAVE 7 BIBLES?

2009-08-24T15:22:00.000-07:00

hello hello friends and family! i heard from a friend recently that it was time for me to update my blog. i did say i was going to during my debriefing...and i know i never did and i sincerly apologize. right now i'm currently working through a devotion called "coming home" and it's targeted towards adjusting back into the lifestyle left behind before the missions field. it's going really well, and i'm pleased to say that adjusting back to the american life isn't going too bad. the only sad thing is, my stomach just cannot adjust. but it's coming along.
i was home for a whopping 4 days before i moved out to Colorado. during that time i was able to unpack and repack, cram in the necessary doctor's appointments, and hang out with the family. the time went so fast, i wasn't even able to adjust being home before i was traveling again. Colorado is wonderful. for those that do not know, i am attending Colorado State University at Pueblo and i'm studying to be a Spanish Major with a minor in Education. i have a decent schedule and my spanish class is really difficult. but i lucked out--actually i'm very blessed to be rooming with the girl i am. her name is Nely, and she is Guatemalen and speaks Spanish fluently. she is able to help me a lot when i need it, and we try to have some conversations in Spanish. it's all good. i've met a lot of really interesting people while i've been here too. i've met football players, computer nerds, weird people, funny people, redwing fan people (ya!), and others. but what do i really think about this whole transition?
it's scary!
i thought i would really enjoy meeting new people, but i'm finding out how much i have to step out of my comfort box and meet people. the girls on my floor are really secluded and you have to actually make an effort to go to their door if you wanna hang out with someone other than your roommate. but Nely is awesome, and together we're tackling Belmont C3 and meeting as many girls on the floor possible. we have had some cool kick off activities which included a huge soap bubble/foam pit/dance (haha) and a kareoke night. my roomie and i have also hosted some movie nights in the dorm and have had some friends over for those. but the whole process of opening up and forcing myself to meet people is really hard. but the activities are helping a lot, and i look forward to Bingo tonight with my whole building and basketball tommorrow afternoon with the football guys i met today! haha.
God has so much planned for me here as well. Nely really doesn't know anything at all about a relationship with Jesus or who anyone is in the bible, and i thought God wasn't going to have much for me here, but turns out, Nely needs to see Christ. she is an amazing being with so much passion and life and vigor that i envy, and i love sitting and talking to her about everything. i've only known her for such a short time, but she is so intrigued by my 7 bibles i brought with me and my devotions in the mornings (which she responded with "awww you're so cute!" lol) and the other night we had a great talk about devotions and what it means to be a tabernacle for Christ. it was a really random topic, but once we started she just fired of questions and wanted to know so much. so i thought that i was going to give up on school, but it turns out that God has so much more in store for me than i think.
oh, and right out my window...you see the glory of the mountains [:
go pueblo.

2009-07-29T10:36:00.000-07:00

hello hello hello!
it's the middle of the week, and that means work projects for the Group! this week, if you don't know, we are working with a group from Seattle, Washington. the summer staff, Mexico 5, love this group because the group is from their home church. it's been really encouraging however to see how the Mexico 5 still serve the members--and not just blend into the group. the group is pouring cement right now, and i thought i would run upstairs and do some blogging while i have the time.
the days are beginning to count down until i go home. i've been doing some major reflecting lately, which should probably wait until the group returns home, but i keep thinking back to when i left the train station in Chicago to the ridiculous first night on Outreach, the day Tricia left us to surviving the island, from getting really sick and experiencing God's peace to sitting in Doctor Arroyo--surronded by the beautiful mountains. and thinking back makes me realize how fast the time went, and how close i am to my teammates now. it's crazy when i think of how there a few weeks left. i have so much debriefing to do.

MACKENZIE INSPIRED ME.

2009-07-24T08:26:00.000-07:00

hey there everyone! i hope that you had an enjoyable week this past week...we just sent off our team back to the States, so i thought it would be a good time to update the old blog [: This past week, our group was from Texas, and it was a family group. it was crazy! When they arrived, they unloaded their baby carriages and cribs and bath tubs(etc.) and it was quite amusing our first evening. i spent my first night with three girls named Payton, Mackenzie, and Reece at the ice-cream plaza. those three reminded me of my sister so much! so i was attached to them the rest of the week, and was able to sit down with their parents and get to know them as well.
We traveled out to two different towns this week: Pompeya and La Palma. the families loved the work we had with the children services, and the kids loved being involved as well. the children of the families that came were so awesome with the mexican children. they interacted, and when they wanted to actually communicate, we were able to translate for them and help the conversation.
during the week, we got up in the mornings and had our devotions with a nice hot cup of coffee cause the mornings are so cold! then we would split into groups and go and "evangelize" or visit with the brothers of the church. i went with Lalo's group, and since the American's haven't had constant Spanish lessons, i translated what Lalo was saying for the group. that was so cool for me to be able to do that for them [: wooo! i was really impressed with the little girl Mackenzie, because she is 10 and feels very called to missions already at such a young age. she gave her testimony while she was visiting, shared verses, and led the whole group of leaders in a prayer for a lady. her boldness in her faith inspired all of us. every child from the families were really inspiring and bold. they were so great to be around and they were always wanting to help the Mexican children and gave their all to them. it was so refreshing to have kids from 1 year to 10 years around the compound. they gave us really neat necklaces before they left that they made--it was really meaningful.
i had great talks with the staff this week about a lot of different things. we are all continuing to draw closer and closer and it's great to just hang out today. yesterday 5 of us destroyed 3 large pizzas (we're really proud of that and i was told to make sure i write that in here). but i'm going to get going cause me and my Chinese girls are going to spend some good quality time together on the roof and catch some rays [: i hope all is well back home and i hope to hear from you!
God bless.
Taylor Paige Lincoln.

OUR ATTEMPT AT YOUTH CAMP.

2009-07-20T15:13:00.000-07:00

hey everyone! i thought it was time to update after a crazy week. we finally finished all the planning and organizing for the three day youth camp last Wednesday. around that time, the summer staff and the rest of the DMT students arrived. with all the plans set in stone, food prepared, and games set up we were all really excited for the youth to come. well Friday came. 4:30 came for the youth to arrive...then 5:30...then the first service started...no youth! we went to bed discouraged, but the next morning, we had around 10 youth from a village outside of Matehuala come for Saturday. they stayed all day, and we had so much fun with them. they had waterballoon fights, we ate, danced, had a grrreat time with kareoke, and a lot of other stuff. the service Saturday night was so amazing for all of us--staff and youth. Eduardo, AKA Lalo, preached about the fire in our lives when God is instilling it and giving it passion. we found ourselves on our faces before the LORD. everyone was touched with the Holy Spirit that night. we left on fire and ready for whatever was to come. it was a time in my life that is really hard for me to describe in a blog post.

the group arrived last night from Texas. there are a lot of little ones who are excited to work with the little kids here, and their parents are great too! i really enjoy hanging out with two little girls named Mackenzie and Payton, because together, they remind me of my little sister. the families love on us like we're one of their own, and it sure reminds me of home! already!

it's crazy to think that after this week, we have one week left of summer groups, then debriefing starts. i hope to keep up with the blog while i'm debriefing, but no promises!! [: it's going to be a busy and stressful time for me.

i have some pictures to upload soon and i hope that i can VERY SOON! God bless!

In the love of Christ...

AVIVANOS CON TU FUEGO.

2009-07-13T14:10:00.000-07:00

Well hey there! the internet has been in and out at the compound in Doctor Arroyo, so the girls made a trip to the mission house for a couple hours to relax, use the internet, lay out, and have some good girl time. it was definetly needed! [:
today, being monday and the start of a new week, we invited in the 3 different plazas and started working on our messages and devotionals for the camp this week. tonight we have a meeting to see how everyone is coming along, and we're going to "celebrate our being" (in Arroyo) by buying ice cream and watching a movie. i'm really excited to have quality "team time." anyways, the plans for the camp are going strong, and we're all praying for a great turnout this year; plenty of youth on fire and hungry for more of God. our theme is to "inlight the flame within us", and we're all going to be talking about how to rekindle the fire or how to maintain it. we have been brainstorming all last week and will continue this week, so keep praying that the Holy Spirit will guide our messages, and burden our hearts with His words for the youth.

i would really like to lift up some prayer requests. this week was the one year anniversary of Gaby's friend's death, and she has been feeling guilty for some things and hasn't been herself. pray that God will give her the peace we can't give her, and to give us words of encouragement. continue to lift up all of our support--i'm still greatly lacking in financial issues, but i have a peace that God is going to provide--in His timing. and the biggest prayer request all of us had this week was to stay focused. as of today, we only have 29 days until we all depart from here and go home. we are all having difficulty keeping that focus on the work at hand. pray that God will renew our minds and give us strength to press forward--to focus on the day at hand, and no worry about tomorrow.

i am missing all of you back home and im in prayer for you. thanks for all the mail and prayers and support! in love the Christ...
-Taylor Paige Lincoln

CAMP PLANNING...WEEK 1.

2009-07-10T15:40:00.001-07:00

hmmm...well, what can i say? where can i start? it was our first week of planning for the camp. we planned out where we were going to visit, and we took off. steven and laurita planned to hit up the little towns on the outside of Doctor Arroyo, then yesterday we talked to the church's in Arroyo--we gave flyers and posted posters in town, trying to promote the youth camp in a week. it went great and i hope and pray that lots of youth will attend this year.
then today, we started planning the teachings, devotions, and services. it was so stressful. as much as i wanted to put in my input, i felt like i kept getting shot down. i was really frustrated and discouraged, and we did not get too much accomplished today, but it's okay. we still have all next week, and i hope that the team will be more open to a "youth's" point of view for the youth camp...[:

but that was our work...

other than that, we have had some good relaxing time. i visited with the Easton's and they all say hey! the youth center is really fun and the english classes are just filling up with students everyday. we walk to town almost every night, and recently found an amazing discovery at the ice cream stand...chocolate covered bananas [: haha, they cure every desire for chocolate for emily, carol, and i. haha...carol and i have been really having some amazing talks and great memories together. i really enjoy the team here, but i'm so excited to see the rest of my team next week. i really miss everyone, and i can't wait to reunite with everyone! summer staff included!

really keep the team in your prayers this week--that God will guide us to what to teach, and that his presence will be in our meetings. God bless and i will update soon!

O-H-I-O!

2009-07-04T19:01:00.000-07:00

Hello Hello! I am now going to be updating my blog from the breathtaking mountains and gorgeous weather of Doctor Arroyo! We arrived late on Sunday night after a long and uncomfortable bus ride. I traveled with Laurita and Gaby, and we weren’t expecting to arrive until sunrise. We ended up pulling in the bus station at one in them morning. With no service on our cell phones to call for a ride and no taxis to take us to the compound, we lugged out suitcases on the thirty minute walk—up the mountain to the compound. We had a lot of different feelings: laughing from the fact of us dragging our suitcases, tired from the walk, fearful of the pitbulls, cold from the night, and hungry from our lack of dinner. It was quite the evening for us. [: We got to the compound and crawled into bed—and the week began.
We had a great team this week from Sandusky, Ohio. They came last year with Nappanee Missionary Church (my home church) and they were excited to have the opportunity to be the only church here this week. The families came very prepared; having boxes and boxes of candy for the kids, crafts prepared for women services, ready to give testimonies, and excited to serve. I was really impressed with each individual on the team. Throughout the week, we held three children services and one adult service in La Palma Gorda, La Laja, and La Palma. The services for the kids went awesome! I had so much fun helping Tavo lead songs and games with the children. It was the first time Dayspring took a group to La Palma Gorda, and the children were thriving there! They had such a love for the team from Ohio, and the team just loved on them right back.
Tuesday night, at La Laja, I preached about dying and sacrificing ourselves on the altar. I was told it was my best sermon yet, and I was really encouraged at that. The same night, Gaby translated a testimony (from English to Spanish). I was so proud of her! We ate delicious food and enjoyed each other’s fellowship with the brothers and sisters there. We ended the night with pictures of the church, because Ohio brought glow sticks for the church to wear! It was really awesome. Then really late that night, Roger came to Doctor Arroyo with a few of my closest friends from Seattle, Washington!! Allison Redfield, Sarah Liu, Justina Wu, Edwin Yi-Chin, and Marc. Ha, I can’t remember Marc’s last name off the top of my head. Andrew Pratt popped his head in too…it was a fun, late night reunion.
Wednesday, I GOT MAIL! Wooo, I was so excited for my box (thanks family). Oh the little joy of receiving mail is such a rush! Ha, besides that the day was a day to just relax, besides the children service in the evening. After we came back from the service, we took the group out to the plazas for ice cream, pizza, burgers, and tacos. My group ate burgers with delicious strawberry bars dipped in chocolate and smothered with granola for desert. Woooo!
On Thursday we visited with the Easton family, and they have a great work going on in Arroyo. They opened up a youth center, for the youth to come after school to hang out, play fooseball, challenge each other in some Halo, or get help with homework. (If you’re interested in donating any board games or anything the youth will like, feel free to comment my blog and I’ll help you with contacting them). They also just started English classes, where they had 80 students sign up! Way to Go Eastons!! [: After that we traveled to the market in Matehuala. I walked around with the group leader and her daughter…they have been working with Dayspring in the summer for the past nine years! I was surprised that the daughter hadn’t done anything with summer staff yet. I told her to feel free to stay if she wanted to, and apparently I wasn’t the first who talked to her about it. They prayed about it, and she is going to stay until the 14th of July. Also, she is going to be spending her time on the island in Oaxaca! How awesome is that?
The staff is so fun. I really miss the rest of my team, but I know they are doing great, whether on the island or in El Higo. I know they are going to freak out when they feel the weather here! Who would’ve thought I would go from sweating bullets in the night (El Higo) to throwing two wool blankets on at night here! [: I love the evenings here because the staff just hangs out in the staff lounge where we laugh and talk. Andrew and I were talking about how the DMT school would be a perrrrfect reality TV show! There is plenty of drama, lots of laughs, and evident growth in the team. We both decided that this year would be perfect too because of the different and weird personalities of the staff and the students. [: ha, he is so right. It would be awesome.
Well, that’s this week in a nutshell…or should I say blog post? Haha…okay that was really lame. [: Be praying for the small team of staff here as we prepare for the youth camp next weekend. We have a lot of planning and promoting to do! If there is any way you would like to send support to my Dayspring account, for I am really lacking, please pray about it.
Keep pressing on! In Christ,
Taylor Paige Lincoln [:

LA BRUJA DE LA HACIENDITA.

2009-06-27T09:56:00.000-07:00

last night was just a weird night and i thought i would share it with you. well, i was talking to a friend on messenger and it was already dark. i was starting to freak out cause i saw some guys running around in the field behind the school, so we said our good-byes, and i ran over to my room. i was getting really tired, so i jumped in the shower and got ready for bed. i fell asleep quickly and didn't hear when Laurita or Gaby came in for bed...but i kept waking up in the night. i would wake up freezing, then later, i would wake up again really hot and sweaty. well i was finally able to sleep and i had this crazy weird dream. i was walking in the field (behind the school, the orange grove to be specific) with some girls from the school. we couldn't find our way out and were looking for a path to take to the road. i looked down a way and saw a lady standing there with curly, dark brown hair--that was really standing out on its ends. she was calling to us to come down her path saying "come...come this way!" and Laurita said to us to run a different way, and the lady was running after us. well i woke up again and almost got Laurita up too, because i'm whimpy at night with scary dreams lol. but i waited until morning. well Laurita and i were washing dishes this morning and she asked me if i knew anything about the witch (la bruja) in La Haciendita. and i told her no and we started talking about her and where she lives and what she looks like. she described her to me and it matched exactly to the lady in my dream. so i told Lauri about my dream and she freaked out, cause she too had an incident with la bruja. she said that she wasn't asleep when she heard "an evil laugh" coming from outside the window. and she said that she closed her eyes and when she did, she saw the face of the witch--staring at her. she was really scared too, but prayed herself to sleep. she talked to Ruthy about what she saw and Ruthy said that all the descriptions matched up perfectly to the witch that lives in La Haciendita. (Ruthy also mentioned that the witch went to the Christian Revival Camp they had last week and just stared Ruthy down the whole time.)

neither Laurita or I have ever seen the witch before. we're going to pray over our rooms tonight. keep us in your prayers as we sleep tonight and travel to Arroyo tomorrow. i'm so excited about going to Doctor Arroyo to work with the groups and the camp in two weeks. [[: God Bless!

LOS PLANES.

2009-06-21T12:42:00.000-07:00

Hello friends and family! I just got out of a really funny meeting with my team that I would like to inform you on. Quickly, however, I wanted to tell you how our meeting went. It started off really serious, and Joel was really good about staying on topic. But somewhere along the way we ended up laughing, breaking out a pack of brownies, throwing water bottles, and yelling across the room. At one point I sat back in my chair, and it was as if I was in a movie watching my team. I thought, “Wow, only 54 more days with these guys.” We all have so much fun together; whether we’re playing telephone for an hour straight after supper or evangelizing in our separate groups. Or, like right now, I’m watching my team run around out front of our house in the rain—simply enjoying the change in weather. I know I’m getting repetitive when I say: I love my team. :D Now, for our plans.

Tonight we are heading out to Temporal for the fair and to say goodbye to Chely and Michelle. They are going tonight to the island, Soyaltepec, to continue the work we began there with Lalo, Dennis, Elda, and Eliud. Then this week, we are going to split up into two different teams. One team is going to stay in El Higo and continue the work here in the church, and the other is going to officially move out and head onto Doctor Arroyo. Those staying in El Higo consist of: Monica, Joel, Juanita, Vicky, and Tyler. Those going to Doctor Arroyo consist of: Carol, Stemily (Steven and Emily), Gaby, Laurita, and myself. Carol and “Stemily” are going to drive out to Texas to cancel their visas, and us three remaining are staying in La Haciendita. The group coming to Arroyo is a small team of nine from Sandusky, Ohio. After that week, on Sunday specifically, they will all head back to Texas, and from there things really start kicking in for the summer—whether we’re in El Higo or Doctor Arroyo. Those in Arroyo will be planning EVERYTHING from scratch for a three-day youth conference (like 3DYC Mexico). We will have to plan the design of the t-shirt, preaching, devotions, promotion of the camp, food (what will be eaten and what time of the day will we allow the kids to eat…hahahaha :D), work-shops, games, free times, music, room assignments, the theme…everything is on our hands that week to plan. It’s really exciting, however the sad news is that we will not be able to return to the island the rest of the school. Anyways, that week while we’re planning, the six other summer staff members arrive in Texas. Roger will bring them to El Higo, pick up the rest of the students, and they will head to the island, Alamo, and work more in El Higo. After all this is done, it is around the date July 15^th. Joel will go to the States, where he will cancel his visa, return, then bring all summer staff and the rest of my family, the students :D, to Doctor Arroyo. Yahoo!! The 19^th of July we will have a groups from Texas, they leave the 24^th, and the 26^th the group of forty from Seattle, Washington comes in for seven to ten days. That is our last summer group, but not our end in Arroyo.

On the 7-10^th of August, Arroyo is the place where a National Pastor Conference will be held. We are going to be there to serve, play music, and figure out, once again, all the sleeping arrangements. :D During this convention, we will also have all the missionaries from Dayspring; meeting about their future plans and where to go next in Dayspring. We will also have our debriefing time in Doctor Arroyo. Then after this convention, we all pack up and head back to where it all started…La Haciendita. From there, we all say our goodbyes, either head to the border or a bus station, and head home.

Wow. Who would’ve thought that this came so fast? When I think about it and look at how little time we have left, I want to make the most of every opportunity, every second that I’m here. I’m going to be continuing my blog, hopefully every week, to keep you informed on all the crazy events going on. It’s sad to think we’re going to be split up for the next two to three weeks, but also really exciting that we will be doing God’s work in three different places. God has His mighty hand at work, and I’m pumped to see what will happen with the “3DYC.” I’m also really excited to meet the groups, use more Spanish, and hear my Mexican sisters translate.
so keep in touch! we have our free day tomorrow, then services and visiting on Tuesday and Wednesday. Then Thursday morning, we head for La Haciendita! wooo!! im really excited and i hope that you are all staying in constant prayer. keep praying that my support will continue to come in and that God will move in amazing ways this summer...either here in Mexico, or back home in the communities! God Bless!
With Love, Taylor :D

DANDO UN VUELTICITA.

2009-06-16T15:23:00.000-07:00

Hello Hello!

well today is the last day that i am in Texas. Roger left this morning to cancel my visa, then flew home to Missouri shortly after. the group that was here, from Nebraska, was awesome. each one of them all had a leadership position in their youth group and were desiring to be used more by God on the missions field. last night, their last night, we all stayed up until 3--hanging out, and we watched Hot Rod. great movie. this morning after the group left, Joel took the rest of the staff to the ZOO! ahhh, that was so fun! we all visited our "families" at the zoo, and had a great time. as we head back into Mexico, i would love to make a prayer list for you::

1) pray that each one of us will be used by God in a new way in the next 3 weeks. that those on the island will find comfort in being away from us and step out of their comfort zones.

2) pray for the Church in El Higo. pray that they have open hearts and minds--flexibility too. for we are going to begin teaching there on how to "be the church."

3) pray for our health and safety. as you know, i came out due to sickness, but i found out at the same time i left, more of our students started becoming ill.

4) pray for my support money. i'm still lacking a significant amount in my account, and would love to have some prayer that God will provide.

i will try to update soon!! God bless!

loves.

VOMIT ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD.

2009-06-13T13:08:00.000-07:00

Hey everyone! I have some time to write an update for my blog, so I thought I would share about the past week in El Higo, Vera Cruz. Our first few days were relaxing and gave us the opportunity to unwind and unpack once again. The team of Monica, Michelle, Chely, Joel, and Tyler left shortly after our arrival, however, for a team from Nebraska was arriving in Texas. This team chose to stay in Texas and minister on the “roughest streets of Maccallen” because of a fear of the swine flu and the drug wars. After they left, the small team we had left in El Higo consisted of Carol, Gaby, Juanita, Emily, and myself—and our leaders were Steven and Laurita. We then started ministry again with services and visiting families of the town. The only lady I was well enough to visit with was Sister Celia, also known as Grandma to the students, and she agreed to attend the next church service with us. Later that evening, we drove to La Palma for a service in Laurita’s church. I led worship with Vikki, but began feeling really weak afterwards. I started drinking water like a camel, while listening to Laurita’s message. But all of a sudden, my ear started to have excruciating pain once again. I looked over at Vikki and we walked to the house, and I fell asleep. My ear was feeling a little better when I woke up, but I was also feeling nausea. On the way home we had to stop, and I vomited all the food I ate that day. I started shaking uncontrollably and lost hearing in my right ear again. What was happening? Why was my body feeling this way? I arrived back to the house and went to bed, but woke up frequently in the night from the nausea. The next day was very painful. I was still sick and couldn’t hear, and the pain in my body was unbearable. The heat that day reached up to 113 degrees, and I knew the heat was playing against me. Steven took me to the doctor and to the phones where I called my dad. I told him the fear I had for my body; because this isn’t the first odd illness my body has had since I’ve been in Mexico. I explained to him all the events that took place the days before, and neither of us understood what was causing my body to react this way. But my dad did understand that Satan could and WOULD use this as a way to bring me lower and send me home, bags packed. I had a lot of prayer from my family that afternoon, and we decided to get me some more help. Roger and Steven were awesome. They helped me with all the plans and bus tickets and food…and they got me back to Texas, where I am updating my blog now. I am staying in the guest-house for six days, resting and praying in the air conditioning. It has been tough; my appetite is still decreasing, but my fever broke and after we went to the doctor, he flushed my ear and it is on the road to recovery! My body is rebuilding its strength, although keeping food down has been difficult. I thank God for Roger helping me so much to get me to Texas—because my ear would not be healing if I wasn’t here. The doctor’s found black chunks of hard wax (EW, I’m sorry) and they were hurting me, blocking my ear drum, and plugging my ear. The doctor performed a painful procedure to flush it out, that I recommend not doing hah, and we cleaned it all out. I feel very blessed. Continue to lift up our team’s health in your prayers, El Higo is very hot and is hard sometimes to continue to drink just luke-warm water. But pray that God will be using us for His glory, and in due time that He will pour His blessings onto my team. We have some cool things in store for El Higo, and I hope the next time I update, I have some cool stories to tell! God Bless!
-Taylor Lincoln

SOYALTEPEC, OAXACA.

2009-06-08T12:47:00.000-07:00

Hello friends and family! i thought i would give you all an update of how my last three weeks went. as you know, we were on the island, named Soyaltepec, with our other missionaries: Lalo, Andrew, Dennis, Elda, and our newest addition, Katia! it was quite amusing arriving at our "home." we stayed in a giant tent, and before we came, the people were wondering if the circus was coming. haha.
for our first two days, we unpacked and rested. our first service, Joel preached, and our own Juanita translated into Mazeteco. it was awesome to understand what Joel was preaching in Spanish, but then being left clueless when came the translation. that was in our first week, and our remainder of that week consisted of evanglizing and having kids services. then a turn for the worst happened.
they thought I had the swine flu! I got really sick our second week—stuffy nose, mucus filled coughs, and pounding headaches everyday. But one thing was different than anything I’ve felt before. My jaw hurt more than any pain, and then my ears got really infected and I busted my right eardrum. One night, my pain was at it’s peak—it was late and I wanted to sleep, but my jaw couldn’t handle being in the laying-down position, so I sat up for most of the night and prayed. i took my Tamiflu, with Joel’s instruction and permission, as well as pain reliever, but they didn´t seem to do much. Some nights, i was up all night crying and praying. The pain was unbearable. One day I couldn’t eat or open my mouth cause it hurt my jaw and ears so bad, and then Michelle came in and talked and prayed with me. There was seriously nothing we could do, so Lalito came with Chely, Andrew, Michelle, and Vicki and they prayed for me. The next day I was healed! However, that night I had another really bad attack at 4 in the morning. I woke Michelle up, and she woke up Chely and Laurita and we prayed again. I laid in my hammock and waited until 6:30 AM. We then took a boat to the mainland and I went to the doctor. I wish I could’ve gone to a hospital so they could have checked my ears more thoroughly, because this doctor put some pliers in my ears, hurt them really bad, told me not to swim, and gave me two boxes of medication. I also couldn’t be in the sun during the day, evangelize, or do kids services. but could only come outside at dusk and early in the morning. I couldnt swim or put my head under water. Sometimes, when I would have attacks, I ran outside to Michelle or Carol or Monica, hug them, and cry because the pain was awful. Chely wanted me to sleep the whole day, but didn´t understand that it hurt worse to lie down. So I just sat up in bed, Lalo gave me his bed, and read or think or talk to whomever comes into the house. Oh, and the team went to Tuxtapec, lol, so I’m on the island with Gaby (she had the gripa tambien), Elda, and Dennis. They all live in a house together, and so I would lock myself in Lalo and Andrew’s house with the fans on me. Since the team has left, they left all their other things in the house, and Carol said I could use her computer to watch movies, August Rush and Pride and Prejudice lol, and write my emails and blog. She also gave me banana chips! That made my day! They were really hard to eat because my jaw hurt, but they were so worth it! So good! The team is in Tuxtapec for 4 days, so I watched the tent, their things, and Lalo and Andrew’s house. Honoria, Juanita’s little sister, slept in Andrews’s bed and there were locks on the windows and doors—so no worries.
it was a neat week at the same time though because i got to know Honoria Carbajal really well. she is Juanita´s younger sister. that week she helped me a lot with my spanish and in return, i did her english homework! but okay their "english teacher" isnt really at ALL a teacher, and their work books are all in English, the instuructions and all. so really all i did was translate everything into spanish so she could understand what she was learning. Honoria quickly became one of my closest friends for life, and i cherish all my fun times i had with her that week. she took care of me while i was sick and we had a lot of fun with her family that week.
after the team arrived from Tuxtapec, we sat around and told stories of our week. they were treated like kings and queens where they stayed. being fed until they burst with delicious food! i dont know whether the food was delicious or just the fact that it wasnt the same beans and eggs that we´ve been eating for the past two months! haha...
our 3 weeks on the island were pretty simple. everyday we got up, ate, and had our devotions by 10. and at 10:30 we would head out to evangelize, visit, or invite. we would come back for lunch and to rest (or swim!!) because it was getting close to the hottest part of the day. then depening whether or not Lalo would have a teaching for the people in the church, we would have a childrens service in the evening. we didnt take part in hardly any services with the church because everything was translated into dialect. so it would go from english, to spanish, then to dialect and then the services would just be terribly long! we did many kids services and it was nice to have the change. we spent our time laughing and investing in their lives and it was really moving. we just really showed them God´s love and by the end of our stay, many accepted Christ! Alleyluyah! haha...i have no idea how to spell that.
the ministry that Lalo and Andrew have on the island is really growing. they had an amazing baptism, where the people came out witness other´s love for the Lord. we went to different island to preach and minister and with the teachings they have, its really helping the church grow and learn more of this walk with the Lord. i´m excited to return in five weeks and see it again. to see the growth of the church and changed lives.
i really wish our time couldve been on tape or something. i could go on and on with how amazing my team is, but ill let you take my word for it. we had a lot of fun bonding while bathing, eating, washing, ministering, or sleeping. it was all done together. and we got to know eachother a lot better with mood swings with the help of the heat and sweat! haha. we made a lot of more memories and great inside jokes that i´m going to share with you later.
keep Eliud and Michelle in your prayers because they are back at the island for the next five weeks. they are helping the missionaries build up the chruch there...just like we are for the next five weeks in El Higo. keep them in your prayers because they are under the leadership of Lalo! haha...
well, that was my short summary of just a bit that happened on the island. to write down and put into words all that happened, i would have to publish my journals. and who knows, that may happen in the future! i would love to write a book on all my experiences in Mexico. hmm...
i hope all is going GREAT! and i miss you all! keep on praying that God will provide and his revival will take place! God Bless!
--Taylor Paige

TIME TO SAY GOODBYE.

2009-05-10T12:07:00.001-07:00

Hey there family and friends! Well, we head for the island on Tuesday. I’m getting very excited about the work and the fact I’m going to get to swim everyday! I am going to have so many pictures to upload later…I do now! The internet just doesn’t have enough speed to upload them in the time I have.

God’s really been doing some amazing things in me lately. I was in such a rut before but now God is transforming my heart and mind. I’m reading Battlefield of the Mind, and I’m reminding myself of how much of a challenge it to renovate your thoughts, but at the same time how completely necessary it is. I’ve really been working on not having a judgmental attitude with people about alcohol, because that’s how Satan has been attacking me lately. There have been a lot of drunken guys (borrachos) coming to services and some of my team mates have had conversations about parties and their past with alcohol. I used to get really defensive and be really upset with them when they would bring it up. So with that, I’ve been working on really taming my tongue and opening my heart and allowing God to calm my Spirit in those moments. You can lift that up in prayer if you want. I’m trying to be more purposeful with my thoughts, actions, and words.

The flu, not the virus, is going around in our team. Monica started with it, then Tricia got it, then I was really sick the other night. Emily, Michelle, Tricia, and Vikky are all sick right now. Just lift up our team in your prayers as we continue to pass around the flu to each other.

Be excited for us for the island!! It’s going to be an amazing time of fellowship, reunion, and ministry. We’re all pumped to see the different ways God’s going to use us, and I’m stoked!

I miss you friends! Keep my financial problems in your prayers and that my support will continue to come in. It’s a worry of mine at the moment. I will update when I can!!

With Love-Taylor Paige Lincoln

HAVE TIME?

2009-05-05T09:18:00.000-07:00

Well hello everyone! After a whole day of evangelizing in the hot sun, we were given the morning off. So here I am, writing a quick follow up to the five thousand-word essay I previously wrote. LOL. The swine virus slowly becoming old news, and our team is still in excellent health. While this is great news to write, I also have some bad news…my spiritual warfare buddy, Tricia, made the decision to listen to God and go home next week. It’s really difficult and sad to talk about, but Tricia has made such an impact on this team that we’re all here supporting her decision. So while you read this, please take time to stop and pray for her safety when she travels home.
Already, the past three days of evangelizing have been such a blessing. On Saturday evening, we traveled back into El Higo, to a part that we hadn’t been to yet, and held a small service for a family. We didn’t preach or sing a set bunch of songs, but we were all there for the testimony of their grandmother. She was baptized in Puerto Rico in 1960 and has been living her out faith as a committed servant of Christ since. She started talking about God healing her of her sickness, and this 92-year-old lady stood up and asked us to watch what God did for her…and she started walking across the aisle. Then we asked if she had any prayer requests and she responded with a petition for God to give her strength so that she could go out into the streets and evangelize. But her friend reminded her of her grandchildren and the grandmother said “Oh yes, for my grandchildren because they don’t read their bibles enough.” She ministered to me in the short moments we shared with her. Then while evangelizing, we had our first person in our group accept Christ, and also in another group. Throw two HUGE parties in Heaven please! :D LOL.
Roger, our leader, is driving to El Higo on Friday for a short 5 days and then we’re going to the Island a few days early. Our time in El Higo passed by quickly but we planted many seeds and I ask that you pray for the church here. Pray that they will continue to encourage the people here and invite them to services. The men and women we talked to were obviously hungry for something more…it would just take someone’s whole life to minister to ALL of El Higo. It’s so huge. :D
Well I’m out. I’m off to bigger and better things! Keep praying fervently for our team to continue forward with more momentum and keep our eyes set on the prize. God Bless!
-MissTaylorPaigeLincoln

A SYNOPSIS.

2009-05-01T09:07:00.000-07:00

Hello friends! I have been receiving emails from friends and family recently, and it sounds like everyone is doing great back home. I am still praying for the economy in my hometown, and I really hope to hear encouraging things soon. My dear friend Tricia loaned me her computer tonight to write a blog entry before I go to sleep. That way when we go to the Internet I can post it right away and not worry about trying to find the words for a new entry. And since it’s late, the bugs are swarming the screen. EW. Haha. Like I said in my previous entry, we are residing in El Higo, Vera Cruz in a house that has a lot of history behind it. It was a “Casa Hogar” for Women in El Higo—a home for ladies to receive more education and a place to stay and find fellowship with other women. We are now in the process of remodeling it for an orphanage. But it’s been interesting so far. We have no electricity and run our fans at night by a generator that ends up turning off early in the morning. There is no running water, and we hull water to and from the bathroom and kitchen from the “garage/bodega.” We have a gas can that is connected directly to a burner set through the window in the kitchen—this way we can cook food! Haha, but putting this little inconveniencies aside, we have been having a great time together. I thought I knew my team back in the schooling in La Hacindita, but Outreach is really bringing more of their personalities out. And it’s exciting…
MONICA is still a lion. She is still struggling with her Spanish, but she has such a gift for preaching. It’s cool to see the transformation she’s taken from being so scared to giving her testimony, to trying to shorten her messages so she doesn’t end up talking too long. She has been such a great sister to go to when I need advice. I really trust Moni, and even though I played soccer with her, I’m beginning to know her like I know myself. She is a great role model for me.
JUANITA is struggling with her Spanish still too…LOL just kidding. Juanita has quite the testimony. And just knowing that she’s been a Christian for not even a year, and the strong Catholic family she was raised in, and seeing her now step out of her comfort zone and minister to those on the streets. She is also very blessed because on the island, their primary tongue is Mazeteco—so Juana will be able to help translate our poor Spanish into better Spanish—and even later, into Mazateco. What a gift.
TRICIA and I have been growing so close the past couple of weeks. We are “spiritual warfare” buddies—meaning we run and work out together haha. I see in her such a passion and burden for the lives of the people here. She ministers with such gentle care and love towards everyone, and her Spanish is also coming along quite well. I enjoy talking to her about everything because she has great advice and insight. Tricia also has great taste in music. She is now talking a lot to one of the Sister’s daughter about Christ more and more which is encouraging. She is a nurse, and thank God because we all go to her with our personal health issues and she takes good care of us. I’m excited to see where God will take her with the passion she has for the people here, the motherly love she gives the children, and the gift of Spanish she uses so well…
VICKY has really made a great transformation from the beginning of Outreach to now. She is stepping up to the leadership position that God has placed for her and preaches and testifies very well. I’m excited to see the ways that God is going to use her in the children’s ministry this summer.
MICHELLE is wonderful. Even when things get a little crazy and hectic, Michelle helps calm us down and brings us to reality that not everything revolves around us. She has such a passion for the work being done in Dayspring and desires to continue working here next year if she can. She is clearly walking with God and inspires me greatly. We also have encouraging talks together about God and life and love.
CAROL is beginning to work through some issues with God, I believe. I love listening to Carol testify or minister—she does such a great job explaining God’s love to others and I think we could all learn a lot from her. I also love looking at her when I preach or testify because she always gives me a smile and nods her head in agreement. Phew! Haha.
EMILY is most definitely a lover and NOT a fighter. She pours everything she has into the ministry for the kids by spending a good amount of her free time preparing messages or buying “dulces” (sweets) as treats for the kids. She is Steven’s wife, and together they do an excellent job working with the kids. I can see in Emily a tender, loving spirit to the ladies here. Even though she too is still working hard on her Spanish, she still puts such an effort into conversing with the women in the different pueblos we visit.
GABY is hilarious. I am currently rooming with her and every morning she asks me if I stay up at night and kill the mosquitoes in our room, because our floor is always covered in dead mosquitoes. But it has to be because of our fans in the windows and the dumb bugs fly through them and die. Haha. But wow can Gaby preach. She always says “Yo tengo mucho miedo. Y yo no quiero predicar en este culto. Tu quieres para mi?” (I am very scared and I don’t want to preach in this service. Do you want to for me?) But then she gets up there and BOOM…. God uses His vessel for His love to be preached to His people. I am also beginning to find out that she is quite the reader. She likes to stay up and read with her flashlight at night, and everywhere she goes, she has her book.
TYLER is our dad on the trip. Tyler snaps us into place and smacks us around. But in a funny and sarcastic way. I think he brings balance into our group—when we are kind of fighting or beginning to separate ourselves, Tyler brings us back together somehow. He is also really helpful when it comes to the different bugs in Mexico. He likes to look at the bugs and yells at us when we kill them. But he also the father of ticks here—whenever we have one, we go to him and he either helps get it out or tells us if the head is still stuck in us. Oh, and the guy is so funny.
ELIUD…oh man, where do I even start with Eliud?! Eliud can preach…wow. Like really he can preach. He is from Monterrey and I guess there they talk realllllly fast—so Eliud does too. So we always tell him to speak very slowly so we can understand his Spanish. Haha. But this guy is funny. I love talking to him about different things because no matter what we start talking about, it always turns into something really funny. The kid is hilarious and I’m so happy he came.
STEVEN, JOEL, LAURITA, AND CHELY are our leaders and they are wonderful. Coming from different walks of life, each of them has an amazing testimony to share and are all anointed by the Holy Spirit. They provide great leadership and the talks we engage in are always encouraging. They are all serious when it’s needed, but then can be really spastic and random too.
Now, just what exactly have we been up to? Well our day usually goes like this: Personal Devotions: 8 AM, Breakfast: 8:30 AM, Group Devotions: 9 AM, Evangelizing (depends on the location): 10 AM to 1 PM, Lunch: 1 PM, Evangelizing Again: 3 PM to 6 PM, Service or Dinner (depends on the evening): 7 PM, and Lights Out: 11 PM. But this schedule has yet to be followed. Haha. I get up early enough to run and work out with Tricia most mornings and make sure I give myself more than at least an hour and twenty minutes for my personal devotions. Then we eat and leave for evangelizing and while we evangelize, we invite for services. Services are every Monday, Thursday, Saturday, and Sunday. Sometimes we will have two services on Sunday, and most weeks we are invited to do an additional service in the home of a brother. But at every service we lead singing, opening the service, preaching, and ministering and praying for the people at the end. So far I have preached twice, testified four times, and led singing too many times haha. I am preaching and testifying in English and being translated into Spanish, all of us are, well minus the Mexican students because they are “fluent” in Spanish…whatever that means. Haha.
So what about this flu epidemic? Currently we are nine hours away from Mexico City and the closest case confirmed is a little over than thirty minutes away from us. I know that is pretty close, but Joel is in the process of buying us medicine and masks. Then you have Tricia and Tyler who are constantly yelling at us to wash our hands or not to touch things. Roger, our dear Uncle Roger in the States, is keeping a close eye on the news and calls Joel with information almost every night. I think I speak for everyone when I say we are happy with the information brought in. But in all of Mexico, everything is shutting down. Churches, even the Catholic church, is closed down. We don’t think we will be able to hold any services the next couple weeks, and evangelizing may even have to be on hold. If that happens, we may leave for the island early. I have heard that Roger sent out an email that gave us the option to go back to the border or even La Hacindita, but that we all chose to stay. Well, we haven’t heard of that option, but I do believe that we would all choose to stay as well. God brought us all here—and this is all in his plan for us. He is not going to put us through something that we cannot bear, and this flu epidemic is causing us to put all our faith and trust in God. Every last drop. I’m really proud of my team with where we stand when it comes to the seriousness of this virus. We are all aware of the danger that comes with it, and we are taking precautions, but we are here to evangelize. We are here because God brought us here to share his love, share His good news. This week in our devotion, we are studying Momentum and how we can either continue forward or slow down. When we stop to think about how scary it is where we are and what we’re doing every day when we go out on the streets to talk to the people—we remind ourselves to keep momentum. (Sorry long sentence LOL). We’re in fervent prayer daily that God will cover us with Jesus’ blood and go before us. I woke up this morning and was fearful to go evangelize, but after studying the word and spending time alone with God, I realized the faith I was lacking. So I am working on laying down all my fears and doubts and giving God full control. And I’ve decided, that if given the choice, I will stay here. People are dying in Mexico from this disease, and I have such a burning desire to share about the good news of Christ’s love and forgiveness now more than ever. And I need to share it. I want to share it. This is my home now, this is my reality, this is happening where I am—where my family is. We’re all called to be here and do this work for the LORD.
Now just how much more time do we have here in Mexico? Well, Tricia and Carol has turned the time in months into more of days of the week.
MONDAY (LUNES)--JANUARY
TUESDAY (MARTES)—FEBRUARY
WEDNESDAY (MIERCOLES)--MARCH
THURSDAY (JUEVES)-APRIL
FRIDAY (VIERNES)--MAY
SATURDAY (SABADO)--JUNE
SUNDAY (DOMINGO)—JULY
So as you can see, we’re about at lunchtime on Thursday afternoon. Haha, I really hope that made sense and you didn’t just skip over this part. Cause it’s how we’re keeping track of our months down here LOL.
Wow what an entry. But you deserved it because it has been awhile, Eh? I am LOVING where I am and my family here. We have all grown so close and even though two have left, it has only made our bonds so much stronger. We have complete faith and confidence in each other. And everyone is so funny on my team, and I love the random things we say and do. All the little pranks and jokes and stories we share—I love it. Continue to be praying for our team, especially now that we do not loose the faith and that we continue forward. That the momentum will not even slow, but instead will grow to such great speeds that are only encouraged and pushed more by the Holy Spirit. Pray as we prepare for the island, that God will touch our tongues with the gift of Spanish and that we will not grow weary in doing good but will endure and persevere (Gal. 5:9&10). I hope to hear from more of you soon!
Please keep in your prayers if you would like to help more financially for me. I am really lacking in support and could really use some help or even ideas. Keep that in your prayers as well as a job opportunity for my father. Miss you. Love you. God Bless you all.
-con amor…Taylor.

P.S. Here are some funny quotes from my teammates that we have written down to remember. I have permission from the team to share them with my friends and family back home. But I am told to tell you…”Don’t ask questions, we’re just really funny people put together on long van rides.”

“Is there anyone awake in your van?”
“Well, Taylor drank a whole cup of coffee so she’s as hyper as a jack rabbit, and Emily just chugged a V-8…so just those two.”
“So you’ve got Taylor who’s as hyper as a jack rabbit and Emily who is a jack rabbit.”
-Joel and Steven talking on the radio to each other on our trip down to El Higo.

“This is the life right here: sitting inside with broken windows, luggage everywhere, drinking lukewarm water, sitting on a van seat, and you’re in a hammock, we’re all really dirty and sweaty, and eating oatmeal pies!”
-The girls and I were all sitting in one of the rooms together before we got moved into our room upstairs and this was the actual setting of the room. Pretty crazy huh?

“I love taking naps while people are drilling holes in my bed.”
-Carol said this while she was trying to nap and Tyler came in and started to drill a hold in the side of her bed for a safety bar. Haha.

“Dear God, thank you for this comida. Blessed be your name. We cry holy, holy, holy. Amen.”
-Eliud praying in English for our dinner one evening. He quoted songs that we sing that in English that he memorized.

“I can just hear Roger now…’We pass through here everyday and everyday I tell you we are missionaries! We do not have any guns, bombs, or drugs in our vans!’”
-So there are military guards people that stand on the city limits and check “mysterious vehicles” before allowing them to pass. And our vans always get stopped and one time Roger stopped and really lit into them in Spanish. And this was what we thought he was saying from inside the van. Courtesy of Michelle.

“Just tell your mom that we’re safe in Mexico, but once we get to Texas…start praying!”
-Joel telling us what we should say to our mothers when we return to the States in the summer. A group wants to work in the bad neighborhoods on McAllen rather than come into Mexico. And those neighborhoods are far worse than the fighting going on 30 hours away…

“TAYLOR! Are you okay?”
“Yeah! I’m just dancing.”
“Oh, I thought you were being attacked.”
-My conversation with Chely one van ride.

“I’m so bitten up a blind person could read my arms.”
-Monica one morning after a night with no electricity. She really got bitten up.

“We have to wear rain coats when we’re around Taylor because we’re in the splash zone.”
-The team says I have a spitting/drooling problem. Haha.

“Oh it’s hot in here!”
“Oh good let me come in.”
-The vans are so hot and this is what’s said every time we have to get into one. LOL.

“Trailero!”
“Trailera!”
-In English “Man Truck Driver!” “Girl Truck Driver!” These are the nicknames for Tyler and me.

“Great…so people are urinating on the bananas and putting yeast in bread!”
-A comment from yours truly inside of the bathroom one service. Haha. Long story.

“I’m over 21. I’m an adult.”
“No you’re older than 18. That makes you an adult.”
“You’re only 18. That doesn’t make you an adult Taylor.”
“Yeah huh! 18 and older! I can totally order stuff off infomercials.”
-A conversation I had with Tricia about what the age is when you’re officially an adult. We have these quite often. Haha.

“OW! Oh, I’m totally going to set you on fire.”
-We smacked Tyler on the head and he turned around and said this. Haha it was so funny. It was all monotone too.

“I don’t want porrage!”
-A quote from Joel one morning when served oatmeal. It was really funny because it was the first thing he said when he sat down.

“Don’t look like we’re lost!!”
“Taylor…we ARE lost.”
-My free day with Tricia…we got lost after the bus ride and it was really early and we had no idea where we were. It was quite the adventure for us little white girls.

“I think I’m going to start being nice to you girls.”
“My haircut kind of looks like a mullet.”
-Tyler mentioned a nice comment to Tricia, Michelle, and I, and Tricia looked up randomly and responded with a negative comment about her haircut. It was really funny.

“I am American. I like Gravy. I live in Michigan, Indiana. My favorite soccer team is the Yankees. My favorite music group is Britney Spears.”
-One of the many late night conversations with Eliud and his English. HAHA.

“Yeah but only ten percent of the people who have the virus has died. So if ten of us get the virus, only one will die.”
“Not it.”
“Not it.”
“Not it.”
-Monica, Tricia, Michelle, and I were all bonding and talking about the flu epidemic. And we’re not going to be the one’s to die. No way. Not it. : D

LA ADVENTURA.

2009-04-21T09:19:00.000-07:00

EL HIGO.

2009-04-15T18:21:00.000-07:00

well hello everyone!! we´re in El Higo now. our first stop for outreach! i don´t have much time unfortunately, but i am just going to throw out a HEY! and praying you are all doing well.
while we´re on outreach, keep us in your prayers. that God will annoint our lips and take away the fears and nerves while we evangelize door to door. lift up our safety and health as well. continue to lift up financial issues, that our support will continue to come in and God will, in his perfect timing, bring my Dad a job.
i miss you all and i am so excited for El Higo and for the Island. keep me updated.
con amor...
Taylor :D

GOOD MORNING BALTIMORE.

2009-04-05T17:31:00.000-07:00

hey! we have our first group here...they're a spring break group from Baltimore, Maryland which is why they're here and tomorrow we are going out with them to minister. they're a group of ladies and today it was so amazing to see them minister at a ladies' service we had. :D yayyyy...
the first group leaves for outreach on tuesday. keep praying that God will work in our group while we are away and that there won't be confusion or frustration while we're gone. im getting so excited for outreach...it's crazy that the school is already finished!! ah!
:D i will update later with pictures. internet is very slow right now...but it's okay :D

con amor--taylorpaigelincoln

LA BODA DE MARY Y BOZ.

2009-03-31T15:58:00.000-07:00

Hey Guys! Here are the Wedding Pictures I promised! Enjoy :D

Mary Herself

Embracing Eachother
Holding Hands. Love This One.
The Happy Couple Recieving Our Rice LOL

THE CAKE!...and Mary y Boz

Mary, Myself, y Boz

Mary Throwing Her Flowers at Us...for the 9th Time...haha!

We Played Endless Games :D

And Losers Had To Do The Chicken Dance! "EL POLLO!"

This Is My Favorite Picture...

Cake! In Your Face!Mary And I totally Unaware of a Picture Being Taken LOLMyself, Meshell, Moni, y Jenna

EVERYONE GIVE ME A SENTENCE...

2009-03-30T08:03:00.000-07:00

last week in spanish class, we realized that we have reached the point where we dont really know where to go next in our classes. we have learned 7 of the 14 tenses: past, present, future, imperfect, "have", "had", story telling. well Joel really wants us to get out of the class and into more conversations. for example, sometimes we take "field-trips" to the store and buy cokes, while talking in only in spanish. last week however, we decided to use our story telling tense to write a story together. Joel had everyone give a sentence to participate, and together we put together a very interesting story...

"Remember that one time we went to Amish Acres to study the history of tall buildings in Matztlan (Taylor), when all of a sudden an escaped circus giraffe stole our history books, and ran off into the sunset (Tyler)? i was in church preaching when i saw the giraffe run by the window and drop the books inside (Michelle)? all of a sudden Jimima jumped on the giraffe's back, and they rode like the wind to the taco stand in Cadereyta for some delicious sauteed onions (Reuben)? then Zorro and his horse came running by Jimima and the giraffe, and all four began throwing smalls rocks at Taylor's boots (Monica)? since Steven had a new pair of cowyboys boots, he invited Zorro to go bull riding wiht him, but first he had to eat an onion (Emily)? the onion caused Steven to weep and so Jimima brought Steven a nice happy clown (Carol)? the clown sang if you would have faith of a mustard seed with such conviction the mountain moved right into Cadereyta, everybody went rock climbing and no one died (Tricia)? you remember that? yeah, Roger does too (Joel)."

"¿Tu recuerdes esa vez cuando nosotros íbamos Amish Acres para estudiar la historia de los edifícios altos en Matzalán, cuando de repente una jirafe escapada del circo robaba nuestros libros de historia, y huía hácia el sol? ¿Yo estaba en la iglesia predicando veía la jirafe corriendo por la ventana y dejaba a los libros? ¿De repente Jamima subía a la jirafa, ellos corrían como el viento a la tocaría en Cadereyta por unas ricas cebollas gizadas? ¿Entonces, Zorro y su caballo corrían cerca a Jamima y la jirafa, y los cuatro empesaban a tirar piedritas a las botas de Taylor? ¿Porque Steven tenía un nuevo par de botas de vaquero y él invitaba a Zorro a ir a montar torros con él? ¿Pero primero él tenía que comer una cebolla? ¿La cebolla hacía a Steven llorar comoe un bebé y Jamima lo traía un amable y feliz payaso? ¿El payaso cantaba "si tuvieras fé como grano de mustazo" con tanta convicción, que la montaña se movía directamente hácia Cadereyta? ¿Todos iban a escalar montañas y nadie moría? ¿Tu recuerdes eso? Sí, Roger tambien lo recuerda."

:D

HAYA. BE THERE.

2009-03-23T05:29:00.000-07:00

well good morning all! it has been too long since i've updated and i sincerely apologize. it's been a crazy couple of weeks since we've gotten back from Outreach! i will start with last weekend if you don't mind... :]]
we had two great services at Chely's church in Monterrey. we drove out there and visited with her parents--and not too long after that, started ministering. the team was split up into groups to invite the youth to a service outside the church...full of dramas and music. (oh and food later...hah). i was nervous while inviting, because i had to use a lot of Spanish, but i did have help which was nice. (thank you Vikki baha). the service was amazing--the youth accepted our teaching very well and many accepted Christ that night. Amen!! since we were 2 hours away from La Haciendita, we stayed at houses in Monterrey. Carol, Tricia, Vikki, and I stayed together and the rest of the girls stayed at another house next door, while the boys stayed and slept in the Church. the family i stayed with was unbelievably humble. they gave us everything and cooked for us at midnight and served us not only breakfast, but brunch as well. they got up early to heat up my water for a shower--Tricia didn't want coffee...they left the house and went out and bought hot chocolate for us. the little girl's room we stayed in...those girls stayed on the couch's, when we all would've been perfectly content to stay on those. they offered us a total of 7 blankets...i so thankful and felt very blessed to have the opportunity to see this family serve and minister to us! so cool, God. well...after we sleeping like queens, we went to our adult service. it was neat seeing the sunday school and then the childrens service and then the preaching of our dear Monica Faye Mast. she did amazing and God really used her to speak into the lives of many there. many came forward to ask God for help and forgiveness...i stood in the back and just watched the people pour our their hearts...their whole lives...and surrender themselves at God's feet. again, i was in awe of God...

our worship team.

HE IS RISEN! AND HE LIVES! FOREVER MORE!

our room (:

Tricia ministering

then on monday we were finally able to relax. michelle, reuben, monica and i decided to make the trek down to the river. we woke up, ate french toast, got on our gear, and headed out. it was a good 2 mile walk and we laughed and made fun of each other the whole way. when we got there, the water was cool and it was HILARIOUS watching us Gringos get into the water. we held our things over our heads as we crossed to the other side, and Jefe (Reuben) wanted to skip rocks...haha he was standing in the water by himself at this point and asked us to toss him skipping stones, and we were chucking boulders at him. haha. we ate Quaker Bites and fruit snacks for lunch, and laid out on the rocks. it was a great day to relax with my friends and have intriguing conversations. we were preparing our souls for a trying week...

getting into the cold water && mon demonstrating holding her flip-flops :D

our feet...coolness

i do what i want.

our river--it's longer than you think!

then Pastor Mike came. :D Reuben's family, as well as Carol's parents, came down for the week. we were able to meet Reuben's mom and sister, who had added us on Facebook--so now our friendship is "facebook official" baha. anyways, Pastor Mike gave us insight on spiritual warfare when Ministering. well, that was what he was supposed to teach on anyways. i dont really know if we ever really dug into that stuff as deep as we wanted to. the first day we studied in Nehemiah (chapters 1-6 basically). he gave us a picture of the wall and what it really meant when a city's walls were destroyed. the wall, in a spiritual sense, is the covenant God kept with Isreal--and with this wall, the city enjoyed the protection of God. then we went on to talk about the tower (persepective WITH God), the gate (representing power and authority), the lock/or the bar holding the gate shut (representing permission), and the people (symbolizing poise and respect). we really focused on the gate...and when it's kept open or when it is swinging open and shut or when it is closed. when we don't have our gate locked, we allow all sorts of influences into our lives. we allow people to come and tell us how to live or swarm our hearts and minds with their ideas and views of God. about if we dont shut the gate and lock the door, we're open to Spiritual Warfare. and like the Kingdom of God, Spiritual Warfare is all about relationships. and from there we talked about relationships and the influence that they have on our lives, as well as the influence we give as well. we talked about being convinced God is God and how to deal with sin issues with a person and ministering to a person about deliverance from a sin. it was actually a great week of learning, and i could really tell God was working in me all week..
i thought the one of the neat things i learned this week was like feelings are like fingers. they let you know whats touching you and what you're touching. feelings are given not to run my life, but to experience life. kinda like how fingers aren't meant to run the body. we choose our feelings--but when i let them hinder me...or truly affect me, im in doomsday! when i let a lie take residence in my mind, im laying foundations for a fortress of darkness. so if im not locking my gate, things others do will lurk onto me. the enemy uses our feelings to ruin us--we believe thses feelings are truth. and then we begin to lose perspective on the truth. and the many questions in my head can not be answered based on my feelings on during that moment. but they reside in my faith! if i say "im a Christian" but instead "worship" my feelings, i cannot stand and my walls WILL FALL. it was just a neat lesson.

then came Joel.
now Joel is leading DMT this year. he was a student 7 years ago with an amazing testimony, who preaches to us during class, after class, during dinner...basically anytime of the day he can sit down with you and talk to you about God in the most amazing ways. we have sessions on Friday's with the staff after the teachers head back to the states. they're called Friday Focus. and if we have another on Saturday, they're called Saturday Sessions. anyways, Joel taught on the language of the Bible. and the biggest thing i took...out of the last 3 weeks of classes was HAYA! "Haya" (in Hebrew i believe) means "to be" or "be there." and in Exodus 3 Moses and God are talking (through a burning bush) and God tells him that they are to worship God on the mountain they're on. but in the old, old, old, translation, God says to be there...HAYA. and in the spanish translation it actually says "hayas". pretty neat. God was saying...when you come back to the mountain...and you'll be tired from climbing...be there. yeah, you're gonna be there...you're gonna be on top of the mountain...but i want you to be there! i dont want your mind to be wandering and focused on other things...but i want you to be there: physically, mentally, and spiritually. and sometimes we forget to BE THERE. when we worship...we lift our voices and hands...but we aren't there. and i catch myself in this mindset often. but if im truly worshiping my God...the one who created me...who's always been there...never fails me...always exists...i need to BE THERE. and not just there...but in his presence. it hit me hard. wow i just got a sermon. YES! hahaha...joel taught us so much...i can't even get it all down. i mean...if i did...you would steal it for your own sermons!!! haha...

and yes, we have started preaching. i just gave a sermon 2 weeks ago about the heart. it was pretty cool...we got some sweet cookies and coffee after. yay God! (clap, clap!) above all, God is working in my life. im beginning to realize that EVERYTHING is spiritual and that EVERYTHING i do, i should glorify God with it. im daily laying down my issues with jealousy and patience and trust. daily laying down my grudges that i've held so long. daily im beginning to open up with my team a little more. being vulnerable. devolping leadership skills. stepping out of my comfort zone to preach God's living word. and above all, i'm serving God with all that i am...all that i have...EVERYDAY. all the time. it's also really neat, cause on Mondays, we have our free day. we can do whatever we want, but we have to meet by 7 for supper. then after, we all get together to praise and worship. tuesday we have a service. wednesday is a movie night. thrusday we have a service. friday we try to go to a service. saturday we work. sunday we have a service...maybe 2. all the time, we're living together...serving together...growing together. and everyday, i learn something that blows my mind. blows everything i thought i knew...totally way out of proportion. and i really really enjoy sitting down, eating, then ending up talking for hours about God's grace, mercy, love, forgiveness, wrath, power, and glory. yeah... God rocks. :D

i miss you all. i'm so sorry for taking FOREVER to update, but hopefully after this post...you will begin to see why. we went to a wedding last weekend, and i dont want to update that until i have the pics ready to put up. im hoping tomorrow or this weekend...or monday...or sometime.

i could really use some help on support. continue to pray that it will be provided for in some amazing way. that God will come through. keep outreach on your hearts as well. for it too is coming up in less than 2 weeks! ahhh...

God Bless! "Dios le Bendiga!" ...con amor...taylorpaigelincoln

A LITTLE BIT OF THISS....

2009-03-09T16:22:00.000-07:00

hey there everyone! we just returned last night from our first Outreach. even though it was only ten days, we all recieved a good feeling of how the real Outreach will go. we drove out of La Hacindita (spelling is wrong) at 8 in the morning and arrived to Laurita's home that night around 9. we ate dinner and went to sleep. we had a girl, Augustina (14 years old) and she was feeling very homesick. Laurita lives very close to the house of Augustina, and so she decided to stay home and not return to school. although we are all very sad about her decision, we decided that she is welcome to come back whenever she feels lead. so pray that God will work in her to bring her back to us. but it is all going well anyways because Laurita decided to come with us to the school and take over the position that was needed. especially now since we lost Loida earlier this year as well. at Laurita's we traveled to many different small towns to minister at. we worked hard at an Orphange in El Higo...we cleaned up a lot of crap in that house. it was abandoned and there were a lot of things wrong with it...we tore it up and found a lot of neat rooms and old books. now that it's cleaned up--when we go on our second outreach, we will stay there. we did many services in La Palma (the town were Laurita lives.) and we recieved a lot of good teaching. we took bucket showers and washed everything by hand and eveyrthing...but that was just a taste of the island...

we had a lot of problems getting ready for the island. all of us were distressed because of Augustina's decision...we stopped at the beach on the way to the island and unwinded. (is that a word??) haha...we eneded up getting caught up in a lot of traffic and regretted stopping at the beach. we got to the island very late, ate supper, enjoyed coffee, caught up with Lalo, and went to bed. Michelle and i slept in hammocks outside the dorms...that was so awesome. (: we washed our bodies and clothes in the lake...haha that was awesome. sometimes at night, meshell and i would decided to just go jump into the lake for a late night swim. that was awesssssome. one night i was thinking...hah, my friends are getting ready for school or are in bed sleeping, and i'm swimming in a lake in a freaking sweeet island! haha...sorry friends (: we spent a lot of time ministering at other islands and working with the people. it was amazing to listen to Lalo minister...and then to watch how he started to get the poeple thinking about their faith. neat stuff. at the island, the boys built for us the place where we will stay on the next outreach. the boys slept in a different area than the girls, and it was funny one night cause they had a drunk guy come walking around and woke them up. it was actually pretty scary cause two nights later, the guy came back, but to where michelle and i were sleeping at 3 in the morning and was looking through our stuff. ha...that was so scary. we had a lot of fun hikes on the island. many good times and i can't wait for all that God has instore for us on second outreach.

well i'm gonna go chill out with my Jumex and my friend Reuben, so i will update soon!! miss and love you all.

-miss taylor paige.

NO PAREJAS.

2009-02-27T06:33:00.000-08:00

hey! well we are leaving for outreach in like 10 min or so, and i thought i would just send a quick reminder your way to be praying for us while we are traveling to all the different villages thingys and to pray for our safety...especially because we have to ride with royer and he is kinda one to drive on the wild side. so pray that we will keep our limbs...HAHA. :D anyways, we don't have to sit with our partners...so...do you know what this means? do you know what revelation this is? AHHHH...we totally get to sit with our real friends. haha joke. "i yoke i yoke"...but seriously. me and michelle and reuben-ister get to sit together. 3 otters. 1 seat. 1 van. 10 others. 9 hours. que ahora...pray for the others as well haha...

loves.

p.s. michelle says hey! actually...(in a high pitched voice) yay hiiiii! :D

CALLATE LALO.

2009-02-25T14:59:00.001-08:00

funny story that i did not have time to tell you this morning::
so i leave my phone on and use it as my alarm clock. and my friends and i are still walking in the mornings, and we like to spend alot of time together so we get up at 6 every morning to walk. and sometimes its not the warmest weather, but we deal :D anyways, reuben began pointing out that when i don't get up to walk, it takes me all morning and some of the afternoon to smile and not be so grumpy. so i decided to set my alarm clock for ten minutes BEFORE the set time to walk. since last week was our first week of real responsibility, this week we decided to sleep in an extra fifteen min before we got up to walk. (wow i really hope this post makes sense...haha) anywho, this morning reuben and michelle were like...okay, at 6 we're gonna walk. so i set my alarm for 5:50 so i was up and smiling by 6. hmmm...well okay,i have pictures of my friends by my bed, and i have a picture of me and Lalo hanging up as well. i have recently been having some struggles sleeping that i will tell you about later, and this morning my alarm went off. it was the acoustic version of Six Feet Under The Stars by All Time Low. well it went off, like SCREAMING at me this morning to "meet him on thames street..." and i seriously thought it was the picture of Lalo singing to me, so i ripped it off my wall, and started smacking Lalo in the face and could NOT get it to shut up. then i realized my pillow was all lit up. saw that my alarm was going off, and basically felt very silly. hmmm...wow it was really really funny. michelle got a good laugh at that...oh and i forgot. so michelle then came into my room at 6 and said "you ready?" and i was like..."uh are you?" and she said "no..." and i told her to get into bed with me...on the top bunk. haha...oh man. we didn't even go walking. (:

another funny wake up story, is that i think every dog here at night is a coyote. haha. and whenever a dog is on the property and michelle and reuben are around i always say "oh no! the coyot's are out!" they think it's funny...and so do i. well within our like first 2 weeks, i woke up in the middle of the night, drenched in sweat cause our heater was on. i rolled over to open my window, and a coyote was in my room! okay, there really wasn't...but i kid you not when i say that i immediately started praying for my room mate the God would protect her and that the coyote wouldn't harm her. hahaha...cause she slept on the bottom bunk. hahaha....and the coyote in my room ended up just being a bunch of clothes that seriously looked exactly like a coyote. again i relayed the story to michelle. my stupidity makes excellent inside jokes.

i have had times where i think that there is something in my room and there isn't. like i swear, that once or twice a week i wake up and think there is a person walking around in my room. like i see the shadow, and it's not Viki! (my roomie.)

i hope you guys got a good laugh from this! :D haha i laughed out loud while i wrote it. (:

anyone have any funny stories for me, myself, and i?? :D

A VERY FAST UPDATE.

2009-02-25T09:11:00.000-08:00

hey! wow it has definetly been quite some time since i've updated my blog and for that i apologize. i hope that everyone is doing well back home and that you continue praying for the team as we prepare ourselves for this next month!
well, this past week we recieved more responsibility. we are starting to prepare sermons and leading worship and just taking charge of the services we go to. it's very exciting and almost intimidating. but i do look forward to it. i recently gave my testimony at a service and many of my team mates confronted me about it...intrigued and asking to know more. when one of my friends, tricia, gave her testimony, i was very moved. it's so cool to listen to everyone's stories and struggles and victories over Satan. you can see by looks on our faces that God is doing something different in our team...we are are all focused on chasing God's heart while continuing to bond as a family...then as we go out, we are the Body of Christ. bringing the Church...BEING the Church. it's awesome. :D
and this friday we leave on our first outreach! oh man i'm so excited! tonight we will be learning more of what to prepare ourselves for and what not, and if i can, i will try to sneak back over here and put up what you can be praying for. but while you are reading this, just begin to pray that God will prepare us all, individually and as well as a team for the path God has set before us. pray for safety while traveling, and that Spanish will be given, and also that Mazeteco will bring less confusion, but more as a way to communicate to those on the island. on the island, they speak a dialect of Mazeteco, completely different that Spanish. so in Spanish class this week, we have started to learn some short, easy phrases in Mazeteco. it's very difficult and fun to learn, but overall a little overwhelming.
so, all is well and you are all missed! thank you so much for your prayers! God bless!
In Love,
Taylor Lincoln

SHAWTY.

2009-02-02T09:12:00.000-08:00

hey! just thought i would check in before i head out...today is our free day and we are heading to town. it's a good 30 min bus ride. it's gonna be fun! Lalo leaves tomorrow morning so we all decided to go out together. i'm excited. it's a cool windy day and this morning we went on a walk. it was great. then we made honey-comb pancakes. omw they were amazing!! haha, Juanita has been better. she is very concious of what she eats and how much physical activity she can do, and we daily pray for her. yesterday was a crazy day. we left at 9:30 in the morning for church service and didn't get back until 5! ahhh...the service ended at 3. omgoodness, it was crazy. the worship was fun tho. we got to dance and stuff...(: yay! i hope everything is going great back home! any one have a story!? haha
(:

I FOUND MY HEART.

2009-01-31T11:24:00.000-08:00

well hello everyone! i have some time to update my blog. i just thought i would share what God has been doing in my life since I've arrived. placing the endless tortillas and incorrect pronunciation aside, i have been noticing a change in my thoughts and actions. God has captured my heart again. in the mornings, i wake up--ready for my morning walk. my friends (reuben and michelle) and i enjoy waking up early to greet the day...sometimes it's still dark while we walk and there's a great risk of stepping in poo or rolling your ankle on a rock. but by the time we round our third corner, the sun starts to come up. we are not only able to enjoy the beautifully painted sunrise, but can see the path we walk on. we watch out for the rocks and poky sticks. it's a great time to bond, burn calories, laugh, and observe the sunrise. (: we're so lucky haha...anyways, one of the greatest feelings i've had so far while i've been here is the feeling of finding home. when we were driving into Cadderyeta, the sun started to shine into our van and a smile slipped across my face. tears filled my eyes, and i felt my heart start to beat faster and faster. it was the feeling of, "i'm finally home." (: i have said this so many times, and i'm going to say it again. i have been away for so long, and i mean, living in Indiana is great....being surronded by corn and Amish buggies. i love my family and friends, but being away from my heart in Mexico was hard. then when you get to your home and you finally realize that YOU ARE home...there is not greater feeling. and i know....i know i'm at home. (: yay God! (clap, clap.)...lol. i dont think there has been a day that i haven't been happy. that i haven't gone crazy. that i haven't thanked God for bringing me back. i can't wait to see what God has in store for me in the next few months. because i know it's something so much bigger than what i could ever plan for myself. (: and i'm so excited.

while i'm updating, i ask that you pray for a friend of ours. her name is juanita and she is 24 years old. recently she has been undergoing some serious attacks. a few nights ago she had a run in with what could possibly be a demon. she said a dark voice was calling for her "Juanita, come here." over and over. she said no...then something came and grabbed her on her arm...then she had a bad attack. she passes out, and her heart beat slows down. her muscles tighten up severly and it takes close to an hour for her legs to loosen up so she can walk. it is so sad to see the pain she goes through. she gets SO COLD...then later...VERY HOT. 2 nights ago she completely stopped breathing for almost two minutes. she was taken to a hospital, and we were told info about it and how to help her. but just pray that God will break this curse on her and her family...pray that she will continue to seek God's face in the midst of this. something that was SO NEAT to see what that while we were praying for her, Lalo (a missionary who is visiting) told her to repeat saying "Thank you God. You are my strength. You are Holy. Fill me with your Spirit. Thank you Oh Father. Give me Strength. You are the Way." and other things...and after she did...she sat up smiling. and walked out of the room. i dont think you understand...she walked out of the room. right after her attack. usually it takes her an hour! amazing...how powerful is our God!? just pray for her and that Satan will no longer have this foothold.

let me know how everything is going back home! and would anyone like to send me tictacs?! haha...(:

in Christ...
TAYPAYLINC.

A FEW CRAZIES.

2009-01-29T06:41:00.000-08:00

these are hands. LALO Y YO.

meshell and i thought it would be funny to try on people's clothes off the clothes line haha...

meshell and juanita doing wall sits...haha

my groupies. (:

chelly got dropped in the mud and then gave me a grand old hug...crazy. (:

mud tug-a-war!!

i was last...i suck at bag-races haha. (:

My Team!! (:

MMMM.

2009-01-29T06:25:00.000-08:00

well hey there everyone! i'm happy to say that i'm happyily in Mexico now...with my luggage! in case you didn't hear, the train station lost my luggage (as well as my friends) and it took about 4 days for us to recieve our things. but it's all good now! (: yay!

last week we started classes right off the bat. Mike Schnyder (spelling is wrong) came and preached to us about who God is, who Jesus is, and who the Holy Spirit is. at the end of the week i was so spiritually overwhelemed, but that's good cause i know that God was obviously working in me. i was really challenged to figure out who God is to me, and what i believe about the Holy Spirit. i'm journaling all my thoughts and beliefs out. this week we have three pastors here. Mike, Phil, and John. they came down last summer with a group, so i knew them already. they all have amazing gifts and it's so neat to see them speak to us, then individually call us out on things we're struggling with. Two days ago, Phil talked about forgiveness and the fact that God cannot work in us until we have been forgiven and give forgiveness. God has gotten a hold of me in crazy ways, but i'm glad.

the school is absolutely wonderful. ive already made such amazing friends. reuben and michelle and i get along so well and i'm so blessed to know them. we are so crazy and constantly are telling jokes and such. i'm so happy to know that God was preparing these relationships before i got down here. on the property there is a orange grove. and when i'm sitting in class, it's hard not to get distracted by the orange trees or the palm trees. it's neat to see that in the background when i'm used to always seeing corn. also, in between my classes, it's so sweet that we can go get oranges right from the grove and bring them back and eat them. it's so different than i thought. here is my usual schedule::
6 AM-get up && either run or walk with reuben, michelle, and monica.
7 - DEVOS.
8 - breakfast
9:15 - group DEVOS.
10 - language class. (typically spanish hhahahaha)
11:15 - bible class
1 - lunch
2:15 - exercises with Steven. those are no fun. haha...but we have to do them so we can be ready for the island. lots of walking i hear!
3:15 - bible class (usually at like 4 we have a break)
6 - dinner. lots of salsa! haha...usally from 6 to 7:30-ishy we have free time.
7:30 - possibly a service/worship time/language practice
9 to 11 - free time. MUST BE IN OUR ROOMS IN WITH LIGHTS OUT. (haha oh derry, sounds like camp) lol

but yeah, during free time i like to spend time reading or just hanging out. sometimes michelle and reuben and i will go to the roof and study spanish. it's been just so much fun!! i'm loving the classes and the people so much.

thank you guys so much for the continuous prayers and support. i sure do appreciate the funny emails, keeping me updated on all the is going on back home. sorry about my posts and if they take a while to update. i will try to do them more often! haha...

God bless!!
-Miss Taylor Paige Lincoln

CHRISTMAS.

2008-12-16T11:25:00.000-08:00

CHRISTMAS IS ALMOST HERE.
CO-CO-CO-COUNT DOWN! (hah.)

...NINE DAYS...

[[ hope this post was good enough ;) ]]

A RHINO'S FAITH.

2008-12-15T12:08:00.000-08:00

God has really been laying on my heart the meaning of faith. Faith is indeed intimidating, but the lack of faith is very dangerous. So what is faith exactly? Dictionary.com gives us 9 definitions, but the number one definition used is confidence or trust in a person or thing. But is god a person or a ting? We know his son was a human and that the holy Ghost is a spirit. So how do you complete this trilogy? we use words such as "he" or "him"--but is God a person? We use adjectives to tell us who he is. God is forgiving. God is powerful. God is graceful. God is mighty to save. But for me--God is 2 things---He is my Father. And He is love. Now, love hurts sometimes--heartbreak stinks right? But God's love will never cpmare to the earthly love we are hurt by. asking tough questions strengthens your faith. So does our past--and trials.
a good friend of mine who lives in Seattle, Washington gave her testimony on a missions trip in Mexico. she said something so significant, something i've alway sknowin--but never truly grasped. she started by being brutally honest about her past; drinking, drugs, sex, dishonestly, cutting...the list continues. But i think you get the picture. her collision with God is what saved her life. literally. i ended up writing down what she finished with--"i have failed. i have failed the world. i have failed my family. i have failed myself. and i have failed God. But i know that God will never fail me. For he is my Rock. my Father. and my love." i sat there and listened to her as she finished her testimony with tears running down her face. she has so much faith in God now for her future. she knows her past was screwed up, but she has faith for tomorrow.
if she wouldn't have shared her story, i wouldve thought she was given a gift of great faith. her story gave those she spoke to faith--a renewed hope. to have faith is to trust and believe without knowing what's next. to be a rhino running full speed, yet only being able to see eleven feet in front of you. to move mountains.
Matthew 17:20 says, "²⁰He said to them, 'Because of your little faith. For truly, I say to you, if you have faith like a grain of mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, "Move from here to there," and it will move, and nothing will be impossible for you."
Nothing will be impossible for you.
So go ahead--take the faith you have and move mountains. because it's the faith...the confidence...this love that gives us hope while we chase after God. even if we can only see eleven feet ahead...

THE GAME OF LIFE.

2008-11-21T07:48:00.000-08:00

it was one in the morning. i was in my room. i was tossing and turning in bed. i took my iPod, turned on some praise music, and at 1:13 in the morning...i was on my face in God's presence begging for strength.
two nights ago, i asked God a really hard question. "where are you in all of this, God?" through my sobs, i repeated this question over and over. recently i have been trying to see light in a dark situation. it almost seems impossible to move forward right now. so i prayed my heart out--asking God to show me a hint of His plan for me. trying to block out all my distractions, i stopped crying and intently listened with my heart...
yet i heard nothing.
...1:07, 1:08, 1:09...could the minutes really be passing this slowly? i reached for my iPod...and listened to anberlin for two minutes...then put my songs on shuffle, hoping the music would lull me to sleep. "i called. you answered. and you came to my rescue and i wanna be where you are. in my life be lifted high. in our world be lifted high. in our love be lifted high." came to the rescue (by Hillsong) was the first song to come up.
i changed my playlist and quickly began listening to the words Hillsong was singing...and soon they became the cry of my heart. not only did he come to my rescue, but he began giving me hope. "what can i say? what can i do? than offer this heart oh God, completely to you." the stand (Hillsong). "everlasting, you light will shine when all else fades, never ending, your glory goes beyond all fame. and the cry of my heart is to bring you praise. from the inside out, lord my soul cries out." Inside Out (Hillsong). i found my self on my floor, singing these songs out to God. face down. i may not have been able to hear God's words...but he was singing these lyrics to me. he was catching my tears and holding me in his arms. he was singing with me...
i could feel him all around me.
so it sounds kinda silly doesn't it? to read that i was having my own little praise and worship time...but it helped so much. God gave me strength...and peace to sleep. life isn't all fun and games...it's not a bank with cards that tell you how many kids you're having or what type of job you're working at. i mean sure, you can plan your day to avoid disasters...but you can never predict the unexpected. life is hard...it IS challenging...but the hope you have in God, this hope is the dice in the game. it pushes you towards new experiences....or on a bad roll, puts you in jail and makes you be patient until you roll those snake-eyes.
Passage Exodus 15:2:
The LORD is my strength and my song,
and he has become my salvation;
this is my God, and I will praise him,
my father’s God, and I will exalt him.

FELLOW BLOGGERS...COMMENT HERE.

2008-10-13T10:13:00.000-07:00

hey!
well i'm working on an essay for AP english paper about the effects of student blogging. and i wanted to get some input from you all what you think about students blogging and what it does for their writing skills.
let me know! comment here all week!
-taylor!

TASTELESS FRUIT.

2008-09-02T18:54:00.000-07:00

well school's started and it's been quite overwhelming. from senior portraits and soccer practice to scheduling and homework...from applying for jobs to tailgating...from making time for family to making time for God...it's literally taking over my life. who knew senior year would be so hectic?! then to top it off...it feels like my friends deserted me! they all left for college...i knew this day would come but who knew so fast?! and now, i look ahead and into the future for my class of 2009 and think...wow, look how far we've come...but we've got so far to go! and that is the straight up truth.

since summer, i've been in constant prayer. God's had me intercede for the most random people, and the most random times, for the most dangerous things. i've prayed for alcohol to taste like vinegar, for hurdles to become perfect, and for suffering to become beauty. for my house to sell, for God to move, and for unfailing love. and in only two short months, i've seen many prayers answered...but God continues to lay a burden on my heart for a friend. a dear friend who's been hurt beyond measure and undeservingly. she's strong, yet very weak. humble and proud. vigorous and hesitant. but oh her laugh gets me everytime.

she has a love for coffee, writing, and music...fairly similar to me. she is easily entertained and finds beauty in all my flaws. she sees past my masks and into my heart...she challenges the depths of my soul. she's one of my best friends and she has helped mold me into the individual i am today. yet she's striving to taste the fruit...

this fruit...spiritual fruit...everyone strives for. to just taste a glimpse of God's moving grace. grace that captures my heart over and over again. do you know the tasty fruit i'm talking about? sure, we've never "tasted-tasted" it, but oh, you know when you do! you get chills all through out your body, and you can seriously feel your heart speed up cause of the smile on it. God has a way of making you feel that way. the fruit i'm speaking of in this blog, is the fruit that after praying so desperately for so long...after enduring the long hours...days...months...years even, after being mad, sad, happy, confused all at once, after crying out to God when no one else hears you...the fruit that is produced after prayer is answered.

i like to sometimes call this a miracle. =]]

she talked to me today about her friend that is an atheist. crazy stuff. as i listened to her stories over the weekend, i seemed to have heard them before..like in dreams. or repeated prayers...
but she had this look...worry...fear...desperate...urgent...she knew. she knew that she was and is the only light to her friend. and we talked about the one thing that makes me antsy...prayer. she asked me how and what to pray about...it's hard to explain talking to God cause, i feel like i just learned myself. i'm a new Christian i would say, and she's so raw in her faith right now...so why not? i started telling her about my summer and just about my dangerous prayers i prayed for her and for her friend i didnt even know. and she was astonished...everything matched. idk...that was a God moment for us. the passion i have for Mexico, kinda laid in her eyes for her friend. she sat there and i could hear in her voice, see in her facial expressions...that she wanted so much for her friend. and i love her for that. but the fruit? oh man...praying for an atheist is down right scary i think. and she knows it too. but she also knows the love God can pour out over her friend...the forgiveness and mercy he provides...the healing...she's been there. she knows. i was so encouraged by the want she has for her friend. she desires to share Christ with him/her but does not even know how to go about it. but her bold step of faith to even share this with me...was so cool. so God.

i know she'll see fruit. and i know she'll be there and witnessing it. she will not stop until her friend feels God. and God will move. he will make his presence known; he always does. i dont really know how to wrap this up...but a verse is always great, eh?

Habakkuk 3:17-18:
"Though the fig tree does not blossom, and no fruit is on the vines, though the produce of the olive falls, and the fields yield no food; though the flock is cut off from the fold, and there is no herd in the stalls, yet i will rejoice in the LORD; i will exault in th eGod of my salvation."

MISSING HOME...

2008-09-01T20:04:00.000-07:00

after knowing where you're supposed to be...no where else feels like home.
i'm feeling awkwardly out of place...
hmmmmms....

HOME.

2008-08-18T18:44:00.000-07:00

well im home! finally...i was suprised by all my friends when i got out of soccer. it was fun! being home definetly is kinda...different. i miss waking up and drinking instant coffee. i miss my easton boys. i miss serving the teams. i miss roger picking on us. i miss awkward conversations with morgan. i miss washing dishes with lalo. i miss the atmosphere of the family we had while i was there. i can't wait to go back!
soccer season has indeed started and can you believe that school starts tomorrow!? wow im so happy to be graduating early. it will be grrreat! then DMT and i will get to pick on Lalo more and "we eat mangos on the island...yes many mangos there." hehe...
pray for the school year and that my senior class will be better than what we've been. our class lacks in leaders...so pray that God will bring a revival in our class...for our school! pray that i will daily be refreshed and not lack in the Spirit or being in his presence.
i love you all.
<3...taytay

"East to West"
By:Casting Crowns

Here I am Lord and I'm drowning 
In your sea of forgetfulness 
The chains of yesterday surround me 
I yearn for peace and rest 
I don't want to end up where you found me 
And it echoes in my mind 
Keeps me awake tonight 

I know you've cast my sins as far 
As the East is from the West 
And I stand before you now 
As though I've never sinned but today 
I feel like I'm just one mistake away 
From you leaving me this way 

Jesus can you show me 
Just how far the East is from the West 
Cause I can't bear to see the man I've been 
Come rising up in me again 
In the arms of your mercy I find rest 
Cause you know just how far the East is from the West 
From one scar[r]ed hand to the other 

I start the day the war begins 
Endless reminding of my sin 
Time and time again 
Your [T]ruth is drowned out by the storm I'm in 
Today I feel like I'm just one mistake away 
From you leaving me this way 

Jesus can you show me 
Just how far the East is from the West 
Cause I can't bear to see the man I've been 
Come rising up in me again 
In the arms of your mercy I find rest 
Cause you know just how far the East is from the West 
From one scar[r]ed hand to the other 

I know you've washed me white 
Turned my darkness into light 
I need your peace to get me through 
To get me through this night 
I can't live by what I feel 
But by the truth your word reveals 
I'm not holding on to you 
But your holding on to me 
Your holding on to me

SEATTLE, WASHINGTON.

2008-08-13T22:54:00.000-07:00

heyyyy everyone! i thought that maybe i should give you a great update. well just incase you dont know, im currently in seattle, washington. WEST COAST BABY! lol...we've been having a great time. i met some amazing girls...well actaually i met them in Mexico, which is why im here. they offered me a place to stay and my parents said go for it. i wanted to go back home for soccer, but i'm doing good now! okay well let me just tell you how busy they've kept me...hehe...okay:
SUNDAY.
i got here and we got busy right away. but they made fun of me in the car cause i was taking pictures of everything. it's so green and mountainous here...SO BEAUTIFUL! they took me to Red Robin. when i got there, a bunch of people were there. they made me feel right at home right away. i got to hang out again with the mexico team. then i went home super full...super sick =]
MONDAY.
well emmy and i got up and ran. we ran off our supper lol...but she wants to get in shape for crew and i want to for soccer...well i have no option...I HAVE TO. hehe...so we did so much on monday. we went to pike's place and that is a huge market. that was so fun. i watched fish get tossed around left and right at this SWEEEEET fish place. at pikes place, i went into the very first ever starbucks...the guys there were all soooo nice to me and let me get a grande for the price of a tall. big news lol. well then after our adventures in the market thingy, we decided to get on a ferry. well...on the way to the ferry, we stopped at this balloon guy. omg he was soooo funyy! he told us a million jokes and we got dressed up in balloons for our ferry ride! haha...but OMG the ferry ride was so beautiful! we went to an island but didnt do anything on it. then i fed a homeless lady after the ride lol. we also ate hombow and piroshky...it was so fun. we had a good time with that food. then we finished the evening with sleepless in seattle. great movie. bummer ending. ha
TUESDAY.
ran. then we went to alli's senior pictures...haha random. oh and the lady there didnt know her left and rights. it was hilarious. we then went to jamba juice where i got yelled at. lol...okay well this lady was like, what do you want? and i told her i just wanted a plain strawberry/banana smoothie...and she said, okay well...do you want it with apple juice or what? and i was like...no juice just strawberrry/banana. and she told me i HAD to have a juice...and i just stared at her and was like...seriously? and she said yeah. then she raised her voice and was like...you have to have a juice! so i just put friggen apple it. jeesh. then we went shopping and i went to a thrift store and bought some sweeeet shirts. good times. I HAD PHO! woooooo! it was so good. im so luckky to have had pho. yummers. wow, then we went on a paddle boat ride...haha and on that day we rented a kayak as well...well, you know girls...we gotta have fun. so we tipped the kayak. lol...and then we were all laying on the thing and then it starts to go under! it lost the air inside the boat and started sinking. so we're all in the water in life jackets, in the middle of the friggen lake, trying to get out this sinking boat. hahahah...so we tip it back out and started scooping water out. well then the water started coming back in and started sinking cause it was too heavy..haha so we got got more water out but scooping, then emmy got IN the kayak and started goin at it from in it. lol it was sooo funny. oh and then i got yelled at again cause i cant steer a paddle boat to save my life and i was the only one in the paddle boat at the time...and the waves were like...drifting me over to the swimming section...so all the lifeguards were yelling at me through speakers and megaphones and whistles and were saying...get out of the swimming area. and im like...GUYS HELP ME! I CANT MOVE! SERIOUSLY!...so then they keep yelling at me, im yelling at my friends...it was chaos. lol...so im paddling as hard as i can to get back to the deeper part of the lake...then my sweet friends swam to me and helped me. lol...they pulled it out. haha it was so funny. gosh i was soooo tired after that...jen, a pro ice cream scooper...seriously, she worked at baskin robbins...she gave us ice cream at home. then we watched 10 things i hate about you (based in seattle) and then they started another movie after that. but they're retarded and watched it in iraq-ian lol and i hate subtitles. so i went to bed. wow i was sooo exhausted. but it was such a funny day lol.
WEDNESDAY.
ran. then me and emmy were late home this morning and her mom, mrs. redfield lol picked us up on the road and so we went to a dentist appointment. random lol...but we went and then after that we went to the mall. didnt get anything...but some random ladies were trying to dress me at forever 21 and that store really isnt my style...so it was hilarious when i was tyring my clothes on. alli and emmy were laughing so hard. it so isnt me. lol...then we came home and just chilled for a bit. i was droppped off at sarah's house for a bit and we rode the metro to fred myers (HAHA ALL MY MIDDLE SCHOOL FRIENDS) and we bought some el cheapo soccer cleates cause my mom's funny and sold mine at the garage sale. then we went to a bbq...it was so cool to see everyone there tonight. i got to hang out with everyone. i was really happy. i tricked them too.
THURSDAY.
well...tomorrow we are going to play soccer instead of running. so im gonna kick the ball actually! lol...try not to have a retarded left foot when i get back haha...then we're gonna hit up a bunch of stuff that i didnt get to before. such as:
we are planning to try to get cinammon rolls for breakfast.
then go back to pikes place to the seattle store.
hit up a huge fountain.
look at the space needle. cant go in. no time unfortuantely.
bubba tea. maybe.
then we're going to youth camp! for one night...lol but no one knows im going...and i feel so bad for dawn, cause she almost started crying tonight saying goodbye, cause she thinks im gone for awhile. but im not! im gonna suprise everyone and go tomorrow night! lol...
then friday morning i head back to indiana...at 4 am...poor dears. lol...then im going to be at soccer practice AS SOON AS I GET HOME. my mom says she's driving me straight there lol...funny! haha...
NOW TIME FOR A CLOSE.
wells, im gonna get going now. it's time for me to wrap it up. i wanna put some music on my iPod...so well here i go! oh and we're sleeping outside on hammocks tonight lol...yay...oh and there's a 3 hour time diff back home! weird! haha...love you guys.
"sleepless in seattle"....taybaypay =]]

ON THE ROAD AGAIN. OH AND RAPE.

2008-08-07T07:53:00.000-07:00

well...this has gotta be short but we are on our way to Mexico once again...another 10 hour drive to get under the belt...wow, so i totally forgot to tell you about my rape story! i will do this really fast...so one night we went to town and i was left in the bookstore to just do my own internet. so i was going to meet the group at the ice cream place...but okay, so im a retard and take the scary road and pretty sure this van passed me slowly...but he dropped a guy off so i ignored it. but then this guy passed me and said "hola" so i said "hola" but he turned around and started to follow me. then the van let 2 more guys out and they came with him...so im like...omg, im going to be raped and my dad is never going to let me go anywhere ever again...so i was like...okay calm down, they're pry just going up to the pharmacy...calm down...the pharmacy was quite a walk ahead so i picked up the pace...they did too of course...goo-lay, i was freaking out...and the van drove by again...so at this point, my body went into panic and the next thing i knew, i was in a dead sprint next to the van and the driver was yelling at me "hey baby i love you whats your name?" and omg...i started to freak out...so i ignored him (as best as i could cause i was running lol) and then i got into the pharmacy, went out another door and headed for the ice cream...i couldnt hear anyone following me and the van had to turn. so i get into the store with the group...when i looked out the window those guys were just looking around in the plaza...the group finally wanted to leave, so in the middle of the mosh, i walked them home...
hahaha...wow im glad i can run fast. so there was my only excersise of my summer baha...oh and sorry mom and dad...i wont go out alone anymore! haha.
love you guys. "keep praying for protection!" baha.
<3>

TIME FOR AN UPDATE?

2008-08-06T11:42:00.000-07:00

hey! wow my summer is almost to a close! i can hardly believe that Dayspring Summer Staff is done...i leave on saturday for chicago where i will meet up with the fam. then from there i will fly to seattle for 4 days...just to hang out some more with the last group that was here. im really excited for it. i know it's four days of soccer practices that i shouldnt be missing...but hey...this is a special oppurtunity for me! hehe...
God has really worked in my life this summer. whether it was cleaning out the clutter or showing me love through different cultures (asian or mexican) God really showed me up. im totally a different person and i cant wait to come home and be a light!
i miss everyone. dont think i dont...cause i do. i love it here and i cant wait to return in Janurary! keep praying for God to keep stiring in my heart...his work is not done yet...!
mucho love...taytay

DMT.

2008-07-20T14:44:00.001-07:00

uhh ma? pa?
i think im gonna step out on faith...
i´m pretty sure i´m gonna do DMT next janurary.
love you.
p.s. i will call you sometime soon hah. er, i´ll try.
p.p.s. can you put like 80 bucks in my account too?? sorry!!

BUSY I AM SIR.

2008-07-19T15:03:00.000-07:00

hola!
well the next 2.5 weeks will surely be interesting and stressful...maybe. tomorrow we have a team of 8 coming in...an adult group. they stay until sunday...however this friday, the youth are staying at the compound for a camp. this will last for 3 days. similar to 3dyc. so we will fill the rooms...and the roof...and the newly cemented dining area...and the stairs...and the dirt...anywhere that there is room they will sleep on. woah intense. then they leave sunday...that sunday that the youth and the adult group leaves...a group of 41 from Maryland (the Chinese group) are coming...we will have to clean and get things organized before they come...at supper time. and the other group leaves before lunch...
can you say chaos? i can.
can you say drama? hope not!
pray that our staff will not look like chickens with our heads chopped off and that in some way we will all stay calm with each other.
yesterday, for a quick update, we went to a waterfall...i would get pics up but this laptop doesnt have a memory card hooker-upper...thingy. lol so just imagine me climbing a HUGGGGGE waterfall with corey and jenna easton. we ate...then out of no where, it started hailing...haha. we're going back there with the chinese group...so woot woot! hope your week's great. miss you all and you know who you are that im praying for! lol..
love you.
<3

A BREAK FROM FUDGE MAKING.

2008-07-14T15:13:00.000-07:00

good day!! well i thought it would be good for an update at the moment because my reese's fudge is currently turning into fudge lol...so yes here we are in texas. the team that just left was amazing as i said earlier. so i am now just chillin here and cleaning and doing laundry. same old stuff as usual =] but anyways...let's talk about my past week shall we?
DAY ONE: 07.06.08.
the teams arrived early in the evening around 6:30. wasn't expecting them this early. but they came anyways...they do what they want. and i met andrew today and we had a great talk about our futures and where God's calling us. he's such a gentleman and a man of God. even on the first night...i could tell this. =] really just got to know the teams a little bit before heading off to bed. God gave me this verse before bed
2nd Peter 1:21 "...because no prophecy ever came from human will, b ut men and women moved by the HOly Spirit spoke from God."
DAY TWO: 07.07.08.
God really spoke to me at devos just to really encourage the staff to finish strong...Joanne, Megan, Sean, Isaac, Chelsea, Dan, and Stu all left this weekend with the groups. so i gave them Galations 6:9 " So let us not grow weary in doing what is right for we will reap at harvest time if we do not give up." spoke to some staff after the devos before breakfast and they each said they needed to hear that. woah, that was neat =] then i really dug in after breakfast into my book...and i read the story of the prodigal son in Luke chapter 15. and on this day God really spoke to me out loud about how this school year when i thought i was close to God, i was actually alone, empty, and distant. and this really hurt me to think i had it all, but in reality i was throwing my life away...very similar to the prodigal son. and just as the prodigal son came to his senses that he didnt need to be eating with the pigs, but could possibly recieve a job from his dad, i came to my senses and realized that God has something so much bigger than i want now. and while reading this passage, i realized that God RAN to me when i called out for help...like the father of the prodigal son when he saw his son coming home. God ran to me with his open arms...how refreshing. and not only did God give me grace...but he gave me the best robe he had. a robe that encompasses me with three words i've longed to hear...beauty, forgiveness, and love. and this robe symbolizes to me his grace. wow how amazing. in the short time we had breakfast, God totally messed with my heart...
"Belonging to the Father is the reason that we can return as Prodigals and receive his great rejoicing over us." -Angela Thomas
on this day we traveled to the market with the teams. mmm, MANGO deliciousness ice-cream. woot woot =] after the market, we went to a village for some door to door ministry...the people were so open to us and what we had to say. after this we had supper and then while waiting for supper, i decided to make a whole bunch of hilarious ballet videos...oh gosh they're so funny...but im retarded and accidently deleted them after i put all the pics on facebook. crap. =[ i'm sorry. we played soccer on the roof for 2 hours, and i met trey and really got to know tiffany tonight. as well as lacey (sweetheart) and bethie. they're amazing young ladies of God...wow they're so sweet.
DAY THREE. 07.08.08.
worked in la bolsa and pompeya. God taught me a lot about the Cross' grace and what we've recieved with it. laying down my insecurities this day was huge for me...my group worked in pompeya for VBS, and dan and i got this bright idea to take a bunch of pictures on the mountain and then we ended up tracking through mud. yuck! it was funny tho. on the way home i sat with andrew's cousin trey (and tiffany) and we had awesome talks on the way home. COLD HANDS! woot woot we rocked that van haha...rained all day but God still showed up. always =]
DAY FOUR. 07.09.08.
traveled to el real de catorce...i had been planning on going horse back riding this time around, but it was raining and was FREEZING, so i didnt. tiff, trey, taylor, fred, and sarah and i all went out to eat in a sweet resturante. it was yummy. duh. we got home just in time for dinner, and then the madison group set up for worship. WOW. talk about God moving these mountians...he defintely heard our praises and cries...it was so moving. bethie...your voice is amazing girl! keep praising God through it. i seriously cannot even explain or give you an image of how God showed up that night. it was just like...the greatest feeling in the world.
times infinity.
"worthy, worthy, you are worthy. worthy is the lord."
DAY FIVE. 07.10.08.
today was good. played soccer on the roof with the madison team. love them. still. forever. =] then the girls and i laid out and had a coke and just bonded. gosh i love them...they're crazy haha...wore a dress today. woot woot! VBS was tiring and me, tiff, and trey just wanted to hang out after dinner, so we got our sweats (lol) and headed to the plaza! we bought LECHE! yum, it's been forever since i've had cold milk...it was pry goat milk but whatevs! haha...trey and i had jumping contests and danced in the streets...good times. DOT COM.
DAY SIX. 07.11.08.
God really spoke to me about perspectives today through Joel. i came down here with my expectations and such, and it was nothing that i thought or heard it was. it let me down, and caused my attiutude to be down about missions...then Joel talked about a verse in Numbers...Numbers 18:30-31 "...but Caleb quieted the people before Moses and said, 'Let us go up at once and occupy it, for we are well able to overcome it.' then the men who had gone up with him said, 'we are not able to go up against this people, for they are stronger than we.'" in this we saw 2 persepctives...Calebs who thought they could defeat the giants and then the men, who were cowards and saw no victory. and i found myself doing something similar with my attitude towards daysprings...so i shapened up haha...then at la bolsa, we had an evening service at 5 and T&T&T we all went to the store and bought crackers and cookies and blue paint brush suckers...haha good times. God has given me awesome friendships through these teams...later in the evening we played soccer on the roof, after we had gone to the plaza for burgers and tacos, and then trey and i again pathetically attempted at dancing haha...we named stars and planets and constellations...haha.
DAY SEVEN. 07.12.08.
spent the whole day in a village...wish i could remember all the different villages names that we go to...but i never can. dang! we played volleyball all day and i wore a pinapple skirt cause im hilarious like this...=] after volleyball, we got to see a real life quincinera...that was so baller. the girls looked amazing. such a huge deal. both teams performed dramas for the people at the plaza and the worship really spoke to some there. God was totally present that night. duh...he's so good.
DAY EIGHT. 07.13.08.
drove home. trey and tiffany and i had this awesome idea to sit together cause we're best friends...but that didn't work out as planned. trey and i sacrificed our bodies to the basically the trunk...we sat on wool blankets. wow...HOT! and then, those were covering the guitar and tub and water cooler that we were sitting on fairly umcomfortably...haha. but hey we pulled through and made it. we all had a great last night together. other than trey stabbing his eye and swelling it up to the size of his swollen ankle...poor kid. tif and i stayed up til 4 just chit chatting...it was great.
DAY NINE. 07.14.08.
today! the teams are gone...dang! we went to walmart today and i got somethings, but my ATM card isn't working so im really stuck right now. i dont know what to do! but hey...i got reese's so im so excited! haha...wow and this took me so much longer than the half hour i thought it would haha...
keep praying you guys for the miraculous...
i love you all and hope things are awesome! keep me updated! mwah...
-<3-
tpl

WHAT A WEEK.

2008-07-13T17:23:00.000-07:00

hi everyone! well i hope that you guys all have had an amazing week. let us update shall we? i will haha...well this week was amazing. God definetly answered my prayers this week by bringing me some amazing friends from the teams that came down. a church team from madison, wisconsin came down and then the Davidson family came down, who are all amazing. they were basically my family for the week! haha...so i met some amazing people. Tiffany, chels's sister, she was my older sister for the week. haha...Tirzah-the sweetest girl i have ever met! seriously, and i quote trey "you could punch her in the face and she would be like...awwwwe" haha...lacey-the nicest and prettiest girl in the world! love her. karin and nev-family for the week...love them too muuuuch. hannah...sweetheart! she makes me smile! then andrew and trey who were soooo fun! they crack me up when they are together and trey alone is probably the coolest guy i've ever met. he's so nice and wonderful. hahaha...me and tif and trey all had a group called T&T&T...hahah and we did everything together. well...almost everything haha. they were so fun. okay im gonna try to like...make my facebook pictures available for everyone to see cause it takes them forever to put them on here! haha...okay this is my fast update. im gonna go with the team to debrief...but i will go day by day with you all soon! just wanted to share.

love you.

MY LIFE JUST FLIPPED, TURNED UPSIDE DOWN.

2008-07-05T13:02:00.000-07:00

1st Peter 5:10-
"And after you have suffered for a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, support, strengthen, and establish you."
--i could use prayers to find some good other connections here. like...one´s that involve girls haha...i had a DAWG today. on my own...i started at breakfast at 10 then at 1 i was done. not really a whole day but defintely some well needed time. while i was in the midst of this...i stumbled across one of my fave songs..but i actually listened to the lyrics. here we go yo´s...

A LITTLE´S ENOUGH.

by: Angels and Airwaves.

When all is said and done.
Will we still feel pain inside?
Will the scars go away with night?
Try to smile for the morning light
It's like the best dream to have
Where every thing is not so bad
Every tear is so alone
Like God himself is coming home to say,
I can do anythingIf you want me here
And I can fix any thing
If you let me near
Where are those secrets now
That you're too scared to tell
I'd whisper them all aloud
So you can hear yourself
Green trees were the first sign
The deepest blue, the clearest sky
The silence came with the brightest eyes
And turned water into wine
The children ran to see
The parents stood in disbelief
And those who knew braced for the ride
The earth itself then came alive to say,
I can do anything
If you want me here
And I can fix anything
If you let me near
Where are those secrets now
That you're too scared to tell
I whisper them all aloud
So you can hear yourself
I'm sorry I have to say it but you look like you're sad
Your smile is gone;
I've noticed it bad
The cure is if you let in just a little more love
I promise you this, a little's enough

...just spoke to me. moved the mountains here i´d say.
keep smiling.

THE WEEK.

2008-07-04T15:55:00.000-07:00

HELLO FROM DR ARROYO! woah, this is intense and i thought that i would take you day by day how things have been going. well first off, the NMC group came down this week while i was down here so we all got to hang out and catch up on life. i had great talks with terry, robby, and benj. we caught up on life and im so happy i was able to see them.

DAY ONE.
nmc came. hung at guest house. ate american food. got sick. the usual.
DAY TWO.
the 10 hour drive was defintely exhausting. fo sho. but wow, once we started driving in the mountains it was GORGEOUS!!! it was so baller, and im so happy to be here. the mountains are seriously so beautiful and im in a valley type area...it´s sweet. there are tons of rules to follow. but hey what can you do.
DAY THREE.
feeling awkward. i didnt bond with any of the girls on staff and most of them are all leaving next weekend. but it´s okay. a new girl is coming next week and im praying really hard that she and i will have the chance to bond.
watched NMC really to start to see their comfort zones and begin to step out of them. it was nice to see my team changing and i wasn´t a part of it this time. kinda weird but totally sweet at the same time you know? i kept getting confused and trying to do stuff with them but then someone on staff would remind me that im on staff haha...whoops!
DAY FOUR.
amazing devo on this day. read hebrews 11 and shared it with the staff. spoke to some there...
we went to La Laha and the team did their skits there. we had amazing food. yum yum. duh. at VBS me, dustin, ben, and a girl i met named caitlin talked to these sweet guys and told them about the salvation story and it was tight. these guys were sweet.
DAY FIVE.
couldnt get permission to let the NMC team do their dramas, so we bought ice cream and pizza and hung out at the plazas. robby and i went on a walk and got attacked by a pit bull and almost went to a mexican graduation haha...it was fun. i met isaac and sean on this day...well i´ve always been in contact with them, but we actually had some good sarcastic conversations today. yahoo...haha. oh and i paved a roof in under 9 hours hahahhahahahahah....
DAY SIX.
terry and i had an amazing conversation and really challenged my character as well as my faith. then we went to el real de catorce for the day. it was a 2 hour drive up into the mountains, 9000 feet up. we shopped and i got to take a picture with a guy from all three pirates movies. it was super fun. he was sweet and really funny =] then me and chelsea and dan (staff) all stayed at the dorms and hung out. i had a really good devo time where i really wrestled out some clutter ive had built up. it was a great day.
DAY SEVEN.
today. haha...miss the team. cant wait for next week...we´re gonna need your prayers as the staff cause three groups are coming in that are all very different from each other and so it´s gonna be DRAMA FULL! haha...so but i cant wait for a new team. today i just kinda chilled and ate food all day haha...i played with instruments and drew stupid designs in seans note book...oh and now we´re in a cyber cafe just chiiiiiilllllliiiiinnnn...haha
great coffee but i burnt my tongue bad. but not as bad as some as the burn lines here from the work day. haha

i miss everyone. hope it´s all great at home. please keep me updated. oh and the pictures will wait until next weekend. sorry!! im gonna go back to the guest house next weekend cause everyone on staff basically is leaving so im sure by then im gonna be closer to some of them so you know...we´ll see haha...
love you.

¨...just lean into Jesus, believing and unbelieveing, and watch God show up in his glory.¨

WHAT THE.

2008-06-28T21:56:00.000-07:00

find the perfect religion for you?
what the...

FA-FA-FA-FRRRESH.

2008-06-28T19:29:00.000-07:00

hey!
tomorrow i head into the mountains of mexico! pray for our team, for our staff, for divine appointments, for open hearts, and for energy.
i love you guys and miss your smiles and laughter.
sending a little love your way from this mex/tex...
-taybaylayorpaige...<3

BIG GOD.

2008-06-27T16:31:00.000-07:00

All Time Low:
"I've never told a lie, and that makes me a liar.I've never made a bet, but we gamble with desire.I've never lit a match with intent to start a fire,but recently the flames are getting out of control."

SOY IGLESIA.

2008-06-27T13:31:00.001-07:00

me and my honey love....

ha okay so my title isn't gonna go at all with my post.
but hey i'm at the guesthouse now. moved in and ready for the team to come home from mexico. we'll make them dinner and stuff then tmrw NMC comes in. im excited for them! LETS MOVE IT! woot woot.
anyone wanna say hi or tell me a funny story???

GO GREEN.

2008-06-26T20:01:00.000-07:00

i found my green shorts!
~to everyone on impact. hah.
miss you guys.

MY DAY.

2008-06-26T10:48:00.000-07:00

i woke up to the sound of mark knocking at my door to wake me up. the police were at the house next door and raiding their stuff. taking dvd players and t.v.s. uh oh...so we got freaked and left.

have you ever heard of sam's club?
woah it's awesome. so much bulk of stuff. i wouldn't be suprised if in the back of the lot there was a car dealership =]

then we just finished cleaning the guest house. i would've never thought you could fit so many bunk beds in this place. hah it's awesome. but the cleaning was also interesting if you ask me. tonight we're going to mark's friends house for a party thingy. idk...i'm tagging along cause they dont want to leave me home alone with those cops being next door. so im down with it. but there's my day. woot woot.

pray. and keep smiling.
-tay

WE'VE ONLY JUST BEGUN.

2008-06-25T17:26:00.000-07:00

hey! well i'm here in texas with the pippengers! they graciously are allowing me to stay in their home instead of the guesthouse soo...WOOT WOOT! ha...we ate at b.j.'s which was awesome. i had a classic grilled market sandwich. yum. my tummy is still bugging me every so often like...come on i need to get some stuff out haha...
so today was not a good flying day i'll say. the reason the impact team was so late was pry my fault haha...so i got off when i wasn't supposed to then i got onto southwest 31 and thought that was the plane i was supposed to be on but it wasn't and it took me to dallas. haha...i was supposed to be in houston. then i got on the flight if i would've stayed on it, would've taken me to the pippengers. but again...i got off haha...i suck. but this rita lady was really nice and seriously called the pilot and had him come back and get me. it was hilarious. and then i sat by the guy who owns the chicago bears. haha...what he was doing on southwest i dont know. but if you know me, you know i hate football and it just so happened i had ben's chi-bears blanket so he talked to me about the chicago bears the whole way. he played golf with those guys yesterday just so you know. hahahha....weird!
but yeah i'm working on uploading some pics for you guys. so be patient....
LOVES.

MEET ME AT DQ.

2008-06-05T08:21:00.001-07:00

HAHA...i love this. it's awesome!

WOAH.

2008-06-05T08:10:00.000-07:00

wow...i can hardly believe i leave in 9 days! count 'em...9 DAYS! i'm so excited! so i've finished therapy which is awesome! haha...when she told me that i was finished haha...this is hilarious...like i'm laughing as i write this...okay she said: "taylor, you're a baked potato!" and then she said..."stick a fork in ya and you're done!" haha...oh goo-lay it made me smile! then i facebooked a bunch of friends and told them that...ha. it was funny!
so now i want to thank you guys for your support! wow...i just got done with my "finances" of my trip this week. such as: flight and paying daysprings. together that was a good $1100 dollars. woah...that's huge. then when i got done paying for those expenses i looked into seeing if i had enough to pay for extra things like, food, washing machines, calling cards...or suveniors! but so i have more than enough to get me through...thanks so much!!
haha...i'm really excited for my trip. God is seriously going to move big time...and i've been praying so hard for divine appointments and for God to prepare hearts...prepare mexico...and to prepare me. it's gonna be huge. and i can't wait!
it's sad to say that after only 1 week of school being out, that my summer is coming to a close. lol...well here in indiana that is. my summer hasn't even started yet! i haven't even started packing yet!!! =] i should get on that! sometimes when i really start thinking...i think, wow-i'm not going to see any of my friends....wow, i won't know anyone there....wow i'm missing my senior year of summer camp. wow...this is my last year of HS summer. and then God smacks me and says...so what?
i'm following God's call and pursuing his will. He's calling me down his path for me...and now i'm following. GOD BLESS! i hope to write again before i leave....

DRAMA.

2008-05-24T16:55:00.001-07:00

woot woot! tomorrow morning i have to be at the church at 7 AM!! woah...that means i have to get up really early and get ready. shoot. we're performing our drama for IMPACT tomorrow morning at church...we're also honoring our seniors. crap i'm going to be sad! ha--when we honored them at senior high youth...i was praying over benj and i cried...but i'm way to cool for tears...so you know, i held them in =]

but yeah...if you wanna come to NMC tmrw and watch our skit. or lookie here...it's the exact one we're imitating tho.

BIBLES. ROLAIDS. SLURPEE.

2008-05-18T19:46:00.000-07:00

so benj and i got this awesome idea to go shopping together yesterday. we bought new bibles and he also purchased batting gloves.

okay so i have acid reflux. and it really bites, cause sometimes it will just choose to butt in right in the middle of something fun. like oh i dont know...a shopping day with your friend. and for me, i have to stop everything and find rolaids. fast. (i hate tums.) so ben, being the awesome friend he is, takes me to 7-eleven to get some rolaids. and everyone knows that the 7-eleven is known for their slurpees. so what do ben and i do? we buy 2, 40 oz. energy-drink based slurpees that dye your whole mouth blue.

then he tries to show off by chugging the first 5 ounces.

and what do you know....a massive brain freeze. so then we're safely driving home and i challenge ben again to do chug so i could video him. oh gosh it was so funny. ben chugged...and didnt come up for air for like 2 min. it was awesome. the pain in his face was so worth it. hah.

[just ask him to see the video. it's on his phone. hilarious.]

oh and btw...feel free to call him out on this. he teared up. hahaha...oh benj.

oh...then we jumped on my trampoline for like 40 min and when we went inside...we collapsed on my living room floor with pillows. we debated whether running up the stairs to that bathroom would be worth to puke everywhere. we were so sick.

what a great day.

YO, OUR LAKERS.

2008-05-16T19:52:00.001-07:00

this is my favorite commercial. ha.

WAIT.

2008-05-08T20:22:00.000-07:00

so, ever feel like you are just at a stand still in life? where you think you might know where you're supposed to go but feel unsure and iffy? i've been feeling this way since my boyfriend and i broke up. even tho it's been awhile, i felt pushed down. oppressed. i felt like my whole life was planned when i was dating him: marriage right out of highschool. perfect husband and kick-butt family. awesome job and awesome life. but then...BOOM! collision. God totally took my plan and tore me up...but now i'm seeing that it was for the best. God pursued after my heart...and i'm glad he did.

my ex and i meshed so well, but we clashed so well too. we fought and made up, fought and made up--day after day. and when he broke up with me, i thought it was the end of the world. i was angry. upset. sick. that stupid lump in my throat was omnipresent. i whimped out at school...became distant with my best friends except for my two friends. and they have never left my side...even with all the crap they've both been through with me, they still stand at my side...one in particular has been my rock.

he wrote a paper for school called "Tilting the Hourglass." it's a great paper and i got a copy hah. one of the lines in his paper talks about how someone can be just sitting there during life tilting the hourglass while they're losing their chance at potential happiness. it stuck with me. yeah, my ex broke up with ME. MY plan was ruined. I was angry. me, me, me....my selfishness was getting in the way of God's huge calling.

mexico presented itself during this time. wow. who would've thought God was going to have to break my heart to get my attention...he let me fall apart, so he could let everything else fall into place. God really smacked me in the face. i let my desires get in the way of the woman God wanted me to be. he doesn't want me to be in nappanee for the rest of my life. he wants me to SHINE for him. to show off for him. to love for him. to grow up.

God will provide. i know this. he's proven this to me time and time again. but waiting is my problem. i'm so impatient and i wish God would let me peek ahead to chapters in my life to see if the pain i go through is actually worth it. sure i'm a teen and have my whole life ahead of me, but what teen wants to be a teen forever? i want to know NOW that i'm going to be swept off my feet and be proven why things don't always work out. i want to know NOW why i'm being called back to mexico. i want to know NOW where or if i'm supposed to go to college. i want to know NOW if i'm going to ever come back here. yup...i'm pretty needy. and demanding. =]

so yeah in this super long post i'm going to share with you something HUGE. so big that i cried when i read it. God has really been moving mountains for me lately. showing me how huge he is and how stupid i was to put him in the backseat in a suitcase. he's much bigger than that. Mark Pate once said: "Waiting on God is giving back to what the Father wants." giving back. i owe him a lot of time then...

i'm reading a book called "When Wallflowers Dance." wow it's amazing. end of story. amazing. ha...well in it says, "Waiting is an opportunity to grow up. To wait upon the Lord means choosing a higher road that most are not willing to take. Sometimes the wallflower has to wait to dance." there's a whole chapter dedicated to waiting. and i want to share with you how i'm beginning to wait on the Lord. so that i may too have a chance to dance with my father.

1. ABIDE.

-i usually find myself pushing God away. however in this he is asking me to wait IN his presence. the wait is long and draining, and where else would you want to be? nothing is better than right in his presence.

2. ENTRUST.

-he's been asking me for three years for my desires and longings. he wants me to surrender...but i've been holding back these years. i'm greedy of my wants because what if God will not give me my dreams...trust him with them tay! trust him...entrusting him is an act of submission

3. TRUST.

-so after i read about the entrust part and journaled about it i read the trust portion. holy crap, God smacked me in the face! "Fear of the unknown path stretching ahead of us destroys childlike trust in the father's active goodness and unrestricted love...we often presume that trust will dispel the confusion, illuminate the darkness, vanquish the uncertainty, and redeem the times...(clarity) does not still the chaos or dull the pain or provide a crutch." in luke 23:46--"into your hands i commit my spirit." end of story. trust God no matter what.

4. BECOME.

-in my time of waiting for God to call me to my next step, i've been preparing. filling up. becoming the woman he wants me to be.

5. PRAY.

-"prayer is the discipline by which God gives us the ability to wait. to preserve. to dream again. and to trust." i've really been praying to God to give me strength to not be scared to dream again. to love again. i'm praying for hope and strength. it will come in time. just need to WAIT.

6. STAND.

-it's hard to stand friends. but it's all you can do while you wait.

so there it is. sometimes when i feel like a wallflower at school, i remember that wallflowers will have to get up and get ready, go to the ballroom, and patiently WAIT for her turn to dance. and my turn is coming soon. i can feel it. and i'm not going to ask for a few more minutes to prepare. i'm not going to be scared. we're going to boogie! and even tho my wait feels really lonely and sometimes i feel out of place, i know God is preparing a place for me...with people that will unconditionally love me. and it's coming. soon. and the waiting...the waiting will be over soon too.

Daysprings.

2008-05-07T05:28:00.000-07:00

hello friends! HERE I WILL BE:::
i will fly to the Guesthouse in Texas and then drive to Doctor Arroyo for a whole day with NMC.